Broke into your mind to make you lust for me,
Now I'm so tired of living here with you,
You suffocate me for your self-indulgence.
Gave you more than what you deserved,
Just so you would stop and pass-out.
Then I'd lie awake next you feeling defiled,
To scream my pain and agony into your ears.
You infected me with your poisons,
And where I live is where you ruined me.
Every night I just wish you would hear me,
'Cause of my screaming. "How do you not wake?"
Your venom sank into the depths of my clothes.
This infection makes me feel empty and wasted.
I'm just so sick of you and your antics,
Just let me live without all your greed.
Let me leave and live without you,
You who destroyed me and took who I was.
Author notes
Option #4B
I'm so sick by: Flyleaf
AP name - B.m.w
A contest entry
- What do you think? {options} by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
300 points, ended July 23, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mosaic by Ms. Black Eyeliner.
700 points, ended September 18, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Music Lovers For Poetry by Silver Asylum.
700 points, ended September 18, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does the title fit?
Comments
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So Incredibly Kick A$$!
The only mistake I could find is that line 6 should read "Then I'd lie awake next to you feeling defiled,", other than that, this poem was great.. incredibly intense, powerful, crazy good. Actually I have to agree with Ms. Black Eyeliner's comment below me, she said exactly what I am thinking. Plus I also want to thankyou for picking this song. I've never heard Flyleaf before and I think I'm going to start listening. Great write and good luck in the contest!
~*~Zenity
**** -
"Let me leave and live without you,
You who destroyed me and took who I was. " i love this line
i love the thread of "venom" and "poison" through out the poem
i love that song
me loves flyleaf
i love the emotion expressed here great job
good luck in the contest
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Great poem i liked it alot. I loved how you chose I'm so sick i thought it went well with the poem. thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
..<3..
Shelly -
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First, thank you very much for the comment. Second, I chose I'm so sick because it's honestly one of my favorite songs. Third I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. ^^ And I hope this contest goes well for you. ^^
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