so I decided against my wishes
to move on
forget what yesterday brought
not bothered about tomorrow
life moves on
day by painful day
missing that which once
mattered most
who cares
who ever did
does it matter really
as the words tumble
from my drug filled mind
trying to keep up
knowing the last word
will be my last
wishing
praying
crossed fingers
another word
and another one ....
am rumbling ....
Comments
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ahhh... god, its amazing how across the planet across the ocean and many lands.. all over the world people relate to the same things. My ex boyfriend, who I thought I would marry, had to many problems for me to fix, I loved him so brightly and intensely that I let myself be blinded to the things he was doing, telling myself he had issues rather than facing the fact that I couldnt cure him, it was all taken out of my hands when he fractured my daughters skull, she was taken from me and he was thrown in prison, now I work to get her back, and he has already been let out of prison after 2 months, he wants me back.. but I cant go there, I cant put myself in that position again or they wont let me my baby. I have to do drug treatement for the things I take to make me forget, make life tolerable. I wake up each morning giving myself the choice to either keep fighting keep hoping one day things will be bearable again, or end it all, kill myself, I have a thousand diffrent ways all planned out... somehow each morning I move past that question and try for one more hope one more attempt hoping for happiness again but not knowing if it will ever find me again. Anyways this poem was just such a perfect mirror image of my mind I had to comment, plus you are like my favorite poet, I can see why. So thank you so much for sharing, and god I hope you are not going through as much as I am I wish you well in all your decisions your rumblings and I hope you find happiness, and hold onto it and that if finds you soon
GREAT poem Mshairi I miss reading you loved it
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