Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Gossamer


Ensnare me.
Tenaciously constrained,
the chignon is pressed
against chopsticks
and entwined with ribbons.
Unbind me.








Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely poem with great word economy – short and not a word wasted… something that appeals to me and which I appreciate in poetry. I liked the short sentences, especially the contrasting effect of “ensnare me” and “unbind me”. I somehow feel you don’t really need the last stanza or perhaps not the line “gossamer on fingertips”. Perhaps end the poem at “unbind me” and then just “tease me with your touch”. But it’s your poem… and I did enjoy this one.

    Thank you for your entry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    quite different and worth the read. I enjoyed this piece. Love, Lane