She sang a gentle song for him...
a haunting melody
as her tears of grief fell into
the stormy caribbean blue sea
Her pain was inconsolable
one she could never be free
as her tears of loss fell into
the stormy caribbean blue sea
Darkness consumed him
took him on his final journey
as her tears of sorrow fell into
the stormy caribbean blue sea
Their love had been so pure
they had loved implicitly
as her tears of loneliness fell into
the stormy caribbean blue sea
Her heart was dark and stormy
she needed for them to be
as her tears of melancholy fell into
the stormy caribbean blue sea
She walked along golden grains
softly kissed by silver moonbeams
as her tears of despair fell into
the stormy caribbean blue sea
Her soul called out for him
in a piercing helpless scream
as her tears of anguish fell into
the stormy caribbean blue sea
Stepping into the swirling mist she
listened to his haunting melody
submerging herself she reached out to him
united, became one within the stormy caribbean blue sea
A contest entry
- Darkness reigns over AP by daviscth.
2700 points, ended August 3, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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lyrical creative piece you have penned here
Set the image perfectly
Love the flow of words and the style of write
Best wishes and good luck
Julie -
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Thanks hon..always a pleasure to have you read.
Valued and appreciated ~sugar~
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Beautiful write. I liked the repetition of the tears falling into the sea. Seemed to express lots of emotion, like a feeling of loneliness and heartache. I liked the ending. It seemed to have a haunting aspect to it. Like, reaching out into an unknown world. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you Arzab for your lovely comment and the add. Valued and appreciated. Sorry about the late response
~sugar~
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This has such a bittersweet feel to the words. It's such a sad and haunting love poem. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for posting.
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You're welcome, thank you for reading and commenting..valued and appreciated.
~sugar~
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Bravo!
Very haunting poem, sis. This reminds me of my childhood when my parents & I would vacation in the Dominican Republic. My dad & I would take a stroll to the beach overlooking the Caribbean Sea. Those were some of the few happy memories I had. Thanks for making me feel younger again with this poem.
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You are welcome bro. Appreciate you reading. ~sugar~
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We all seem to be writing about the sea - these days!
Your words fit the picture to a T, Baby - but every time I look at the water I keep thinking 'the black and blue sea' as the sea is rather dark here. This was a very dark piece, to say the least - which is what this contest called for. GOOD LUCK with it - and THANK YOU 'SO MUCH' for sharing it with me!
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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Thank you hon..I love the sea...I know where you are coming from with the sea and it's colour, there is a reason for what I have put...something I was sent. Always appreciate your comments...a pleasure to have you read as always.
Love you ~sugar~ xxx
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this was nice sugar i think you did a very nice job with this good luck tou you in the contest dear
Jewels
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Thanks hon
Value & appreciate you reading and commenting
Always a pleasure
~sugar~
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Yep!
Its got gold potential. A well done take on this prompt. The sea does claim its dead. Her call is answered by many. A romantic, ghostly piece of prose that you can lose yourself into.
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Thank you sweetie,
Always value and appreciate your comments
Love ~sweetness~ xxx
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Creative Darkness
at it's Best I think sis. Loved the repitition and imagery here. Great job and good luck.
-ephiphany
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Thank you sis...
Appreciate you reading and commenting..always value your input.
~sugarcookie~
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