Your gilded cage, so devoid of light,
Pains you by day and haunts you by night.
Yet joy and goodness dwells in your mind,
Far stronger than darkness, you will find.
Oh, sweet nightingale, you must fly free,
Forsake your life of captivity!
This cage of sorrow is not for you,
So spread your wings and sing pure and true.
With the help of your Sun, good and wise,
The rain will pour forth and clear your skies,
Banishing darkness and all evil dreams,
Leaving your soul to sparkle and gleam.
Oh, sweet nightingale, you must fly free
Forsake your life of captivity!
This cage of sorrow is not for you,
So spread your wings and sing pure and true.
So in the dark hours before the dawn,
Don't let your mind despair or mourn,
For goodness draws near; behold, the light!
In pureness and joy will your heart take flight.
Oh, sweet nightingale, you must fly free,
Forsake your life of captivity!
This cage of sorrow is not for you,
So spread your wings and sing pure and true.
A contest entry
- Help me wish my sister a happy birthday and cheer her up ^^ by Noir mariposa...x.
1100 points, ended August 10, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 9 Feelings - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended September 7, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OH MY ODE Contest by Olivias Violin.
330 points, ended September 2, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spiritual Battle by Gods Lil Warrior.
330 points, ended September 24, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Live, Laugh, Love by aligurl.
425 points, ended October 11, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Goodbye Poetry by poppa.
14089 points, ended October 18, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Read Between the Lines by Tercil.
1600 points, ended November 17, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - God, Faith, Bitterness and Learning to Overcome by Away From the Sun.
700 points, ended November 12, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Three Options by Learning2PaintYou.
575 points, ended November 29, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Thank you for your entry.
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My pleasure
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That's quite all right Debbie, I understand thanks so much for your caring and support of my poem, you are too kind. I hope the contest went well, thanks so much once again, you are a really lovely person take care, love and light to you.
peace xx -
Summer, thank you so much for your entry! If I could have given you Gold, I definitely would have...this one made me cry, as I relate so much to the Nightingale and its plight! This stayed near the top for so long but I just couldn't do anything, when the subject was different. Please accept a couple of clappies...and add me to friends, if you will, for this one touched me more than I can possibly say! Much love, Debbie
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Thanks so much Debbie, it's very kind of you to say so
- Summer Moon xx -
Simply lovely words! The nightingale's cage of sorrow and urging it to fly free is a wonderful expression of learning hope and courage. Thank you for entering! Debbie
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as I see this wasn't writen fresh for the contest, this maynot be so cryptic as I would have hoped, but having said that, I do read between the lines very wisely. I see, you wishing to either be more invited to situations, like the bird who hovers, you feel the height instead of seeing it for yourself, maybe lacking in confidence, I see a wondrous dream of the impossible, and everything you'd like is out of reach. The cage you speak of, is where you are, and the release of this bird seems to be the predominant issue here, I'm sure you'll free yourself from this illusion and see it for real, very soon,
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Thanks Shayla
Ooh, if this poem can be compared to Poe's works, then that is a great compliment to my work indeed thanks so much, very kind of you to say so
- Katie
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Wow the visuals on this poem are outstanding.I thought of a bird caught in a cage with only a bright light like this one.And that is all he sees until someone free him and his eyes and mind had to adjust to the sunlight around him. Very Poe kind of poem.
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Thanks Aligurl, very nice of you to say so, I'm glad you like it
It's a pleasure, your contest looks great! -
this is an amazing poem. i loved the feeling this poem portrayed. it was pure genius to write using the nightengale. everyone knows about the nightengale that sings so pretty but is caged instead. a great write. thank u foe entering in my contest.
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A wonderfully positive poem with an uplifting message.
Best of luck in the contest.
Don
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This is a great poem.
Keep up the great writing.
Thanks for entering my contest.
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Thank you for your entry in the contest. A beautiful and interesting poem. Your rhyme and flow are very good, but we have one criticism, if you are going to use 'old English' in poetry, then please be consistent. You have 'thy' and 'thee' but you also have 'you', a mixture of the two spoils the overall effect, maybe you could try re-writing it and send me the link I would love to read this again if you do.
All the best at judging
Sue and Jeff
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What can I say? Its amazing, its beautiful, its heartfelt, its at adult standard...really ur so amazing, u have no idea. my shriveled little poems are dust compared to this. Really, be proud.
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