it was o'clock
somewhere in a hemisphere,
midday or midnight
he filled my mind,
emptied my heart
I slept as your blanket
around the words I wrote,
wondered how long
would be long enough,
before aching ended,
lips to grow tired
in long distant silence
a dangerous excitement
for weird dreams,
she was tangible,
I was your thickness
in stolen minutes of time,
she asleep and you
working
this is our suffering,
holy vestibule,
tongue singed,
hands scalded,
touching absolution
denying her chances
to love you,
regretting chances
to let you go
before I loved you
confessions of sinners
drowning in pleasure
creeping in to hate ourselves
for praying too hard
so the sky would fall in
leaving you alone with me
Author notes
Prompt: The Creep - Radiohead
In a list
A contest entry
- I'm a Creep by luna-midnight.
1000 points, ended August 3, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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OH! wow, this was just awesome, This has so much metaphor for a hurt and yearning heart.
I loved the lines in this write, this is fab. loved it so much.
PL
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Good stuff.
"I slept as your blanket around the words I wrote, ..."
"o'clock somewhere in the hemisphere"
I'll have to come back and read this some more because I know I'm not getting it all but it has an ancient grace on the surface that's very appealing.
Good luck in the contest.
Tom
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"it was o'clock
somewhere in a hemisphere,
midday or midnight
he filled my mind,
emptied my heart"
You're so poetic & clever...
I love how the "o'clock" is unspecified and 'hemisphere' is SUCH a groovy word..."filled my mind/emptied my heart" is a great contrast with thy verbies.
"in long distant silence"
I have a hellish hankering to make this "in silence's distance".
I love possessive forms way too much.
"I was your thickness
in stolen minutes of time,"
SO NIFTY!!
"confessions of sinners
drowning in pleasure
creeping in to hate ourselves
for praying too hard"
Drowning in pleasure huh?
Very cool.
"so the sky would fall in
leaving you alone with me"
Despite its helping of cheese, I really really really like these 2 lines!!!!!
Good luck, this was fantastically magicALLL
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I love radiohead.
I don't feel like getting all in-depth.
Just know that I enjoyed this,
very much.
;
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Hey James Nice to see you back on, hope all is cured in the computer department.
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Nope, not until tuesday. It's still giving me heaps of trouble.
But, they say it will be fixed then so, I can hope. Thanks for asking though. 
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Dam repairmen lol they are never quick to fix anything, well I will keep my fingers crossed for you love and hope to see more of you online soon Thanks for stopping by. 
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confessions of sinners
drowning in pleasure
creeping in to hate ourselves
for praying too hard
that says volumes
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Thanks Liza, yes alas it says volumes and damn annoying too lol that what you want someone else has but doesn't want it but won't let it go
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yep... always... lol
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Bravo! you did wonderful sissy..
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love love love it
this is an amazing take on it, and i sooooo followed each wordlike a lost puppy going home, haha you know my mind to well, so you must need help too
thanks for entering sissy, lovers you
good luck
stephanie ♥ -
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Sigh...yep we both need help for a lovesick heart
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hahaha its called a trip, you go to lorys, where you and lory go to dans, and where you all come to me, and we have a double date
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Sounds perfect *sigh*
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*sigh* too true, i wish we all could.lol
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*sigh*
That's all I got Chez.
This deserves platinum.
very well penned.
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You C
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woot wo! good luck there sissy
i love the song
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Me too
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really? you do? oh yay! hehehe i've listened to it like 15bizillion times now, and i lovers singing it
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Yep I love it and now I am all done here too! Hope you like it sissy
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yay for music
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