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[ Darkness seeps from the shadows ]

Darkness seeps from the shadows
And caresses her face in
The form of salty ocean air
The wind flows softly about her feet
And the waves erase all evidence
Of her existence from his heart
She walks toward the pulsing water,
Heart beat matching the
Rise and retreat of high tide
She begins to disappear from his longing view
His hand reaches out to her
She claws at his grip
As her presence starts to fade into the black brine
The waves crest and fall with a mighty bellow
They swallow her whole and she is no more

Tears run bloody
Down his pale face
The loss makes him heave with such force
Earth turns to angry rose beneath him
The ground seems to open up
Dragging him down into
The abyss of red hot darkness
He feels the fire of the molten rock
For a moment, his fear engulfs him
But he hits the sand and realizes
She is gone
And he cannot escape the lions' pit
She threw him into

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    Great imagery in this piece. It flows well and pulls you into it. I do felt it lost a bit of strength in the seconds stanza. But overall it is well done .


  • konrad
    April 26

    Edit | Reply

    WOrd!

    intersting peice of work.
    I really enjoyed the wording and it flowed quite well. It seems dark and gloomy and sometime i enjoy thast very much! keeo up the writing.


  • Silent Emotions
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this definatly gave me the chills while reading it. fantastic imagery. this has to be one the best poems ive read on this site. wonderfully done! and good luck in your contest!


  • Demonic Beauty gold member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I Really Like This One.

    I Love The Depth And The Language In This Poem.

    And the end part just finishes it off.

    Beautiful Poem.


  • Genesis
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing this. This piece is moving...really great. You have a talent. Keep it up.
    --Genesis.


  • z etoile
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow I am astonished and for only being 16 years old you have outstanding talent. Congraduations on the trophy and keep writing and just think you will only grow and get even better than this!

    • reeseXtheXsoldier
      April 26
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I am always impressed /w the feedback you guys give... I really didn't think this was so great but now its moving toward the top of my list!


  • daviscth silver member
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for posting in our contest.


  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Deep

    Ever so deep and ever so wonderful. To the point and it leaves me breathless.
    Great job.

    Thank you for your entry and good luck


  • Rheea gold member
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you scared me!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And he cannot escape the lions' pit
    She threw him into
    What an ending
    Deep and powerful write you have created
    Heat burns
    Thank you for your entry and best wishes
    Julie

  • daviscth silver member
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your imagery is awesome in this piece. There are lots of lines that caught my attention but I think my favorite is:

    The waves crest and fall with a mighty bellow
    They swallow her whole and she is no more

    Thanks for posting.

1 - 21 of 21