don't read - it won't make sense - nd

TOPIC: anger

a feeling
felt in different wave lengths by others
an action
that always brings you dissatisfaction
something true
in meaning.
something created by yourself and others
why? is the question that follows tragedy.
but you don't know why.
you just know it was right.
it had to be done.
anger is associated with hate.
something you despise triggers it.
you become addicted
after your first hit.
people don't know how dangerous you are
until you kill one of them.


triggers:
being wronged, lack of justice, betrayal, mistreatment, resentment, being dumped on, having one's space or person invaded, having social norms violated, reputation hurt, being made to feel helpless, frustration, blocking of goals, lack of control, overtired, If things are noisy, confusing, or exiting in general;, mood,
personality, setting, we might also feel fear, and run away, or sadness and make an effort at adjusting ourselves to the violation;

thoughts:
It's always a "stupid mistake."  If you push someone who is angry at themselves, they will quickly become angry at you.
We also experience vicarious anger, that is, we get angry at things that happen to others, even when these things don't impact on us.  This may be just a matter of, again our own sense of justice being violated;  it may also be due to our ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes (sympathy, empathy, compassion...).
One person put it nicely:  He said that anger comes from your soul, i.e. from your identity, from who you are.  Despite all the physical and behavioral effects so easily associated with anger, it is basically "from your soul."
The heart rate changes, predominantly upwards, and the heartbeat seems louder.  Breathing is labored and faster.  The hairs on the body often stand up, giving us "gooseflesh."  The body, and especially the face, tend to feel hot, flushed, and we may redden. We may feel light-headed, or that our blood has collected in our heads. Our skin, especially the hands, can become clammy.  Our eyes may tear.  We tend to get a light (and sometimes severe) stomach upset,olften described as "a sinking feeling."  Our mouths and throats often seem dry, and our throats feel constricted.
Our muscles become tensed.  This is often felt as a build-up of pressure, a feeling like we are about to explode.  We may become "hyperactive," pacing, touching and handling objects restlessly, grinding our teeth, clenching our fists, tapping our feet. Our speech tends to become louder and faster.
All this tension can make us tired, give us headaches, neckaches, backaches, and the like, especially if we are "holding it in."  But generally, we feel as if we have a great abundance of physical energy, as if we were stronger than usual.

We also focus on the anger itself, dwelling on it.  Our thoughts spin, "feeding" it by recalling other injustices.  It has a "snowballing" aspect to it, with a real sense of loss of control.  The anger runs us, not the other way around.  We are "consumed" by it, it "eats" at us.

There is a sense of the animal in us when we are angry.  It has an reflexive or instinctive quality to it, which we expect others to understand.  If someone were to ask us, especially while we were angry, why we were angry, we tend to be put off:  Wouldn't anyone get angry in this circumstance?  The anger is felt as a violation of a universal rule, not just our own particular need or desire.  (Hence, it is very hard to reason with an angry person!)

Our focus is narrowed, like tunnel vision.  The rest of the world "vanishes" or at least becomes insignificant.  If the world -- especially other people, even friends -- forces itself on us, we address our anger at it as well.  For example, if a friend tries to calm us down, we may push them away or tell them to shut up.  We are not terribly tolerant.  And we can't seem to find pleasure in anything.

We lose our perspective -- precisely what we need to regain control -- and begin to see the world as a hostile place, and life as intrinsically unfair.  We may become paranoid and interpret all things through the anger.  We "see red," see things as if they were too close, intruding on us.

With effort, we may gain some control, but it is difficult, and the anger is always underneath the control ("seething").  Any lapse of attention, and we are angry again.  Sadly, at this time when we need our "coping strategies" the most, they are least available to us.

The essence of all this is that we feel as if a certain way of looking at things has been forced on us, that we must see things in this angry way.  Anything that might lead us out of the anger is ignored or reinterpreted.  We are not ourselves when we are angry.

There is a goal through all this:  We desire to return a situation prior to the event that triggered our anger.  Basically, this translates into an effort at removing or destroying the person, thing, or event, or anything that approximates removing or destroying, such as diminishing ("cutting him down to size," for example).  But anything else is just a substitute.  This desire is hard to satisfy:  You just can't reverse time.

I believe anger is our response to a violation of what we perceive to be the rules of reality when we additionally perceive that we cannot and should not adapt to that violation, that its source is out there and should be changed.

Anger tends to be greater if the rules violated are social ones, and even greater when the rules concern us personally.  It is so personal and social that, when our anger is directed at things, we act in ways that would only be effective with people, e.g kicking and cursing at that flat tire)

Anger is strongly tied to physiological effects, clearly ones that energize us for action.  The famous "fight or flight" comes to mind.  It appears to be a primitive, animal-like, instinctive process that, while thoroughly human, nevertheless is antagonistic to other human values.

Perceptually, we change in the same way, i.e. we become more alert to the source of our anger, less aware of the things not relevant.  Unfortunately, reasonableness is overwhelmed -- presumably not relevant to what has become an emergency way-of-being.

Our goal is a return to "normality," to justice, lawfulness....  To the extent that this is not feasible, we attempt to approach the goal as best as we can.

Depending on our training, the strength of our anger, any temperamental inclinations we may have, the situation, etc., we may take a direct approach, perhaps involving aggression or at least verbal aggression, or we may attempt to suppress the anger (restoring normality by changing ourselves), or we may attempt to reassess the situation, i.e. make it non-violating and therefore not anger-producing.  The effectiveness of any one of these varies greatly, and each has its advantages and drawbacks.