We try so hard,
to take away the pain,
But we always turn too late,
as a thousand knives go by.
We try so hard,
to make it last all night,
But we always fall too fast,
in a thousand sins of "right".
We try so hard,
to make us see the day,
but we always see the clouds,
in a thousand drops of rain.
We try so hard,
to share our souls to time,
but we close our eyes too soon,
in a thousand years of change.
We try so hard,
to take away the pain,
But we always turn too late,
as a thousand knives go by.
Author notes
Uuhm. Well, I sort of died for a while, a very long while. I've had no poem mojo, and then this just came out of no where when I miss heard the lyrics to "Eastern Glow" by The Album Leaf. Instead of saying "And returned to that place/As a thousand nights went by." I heard, "But we always turn too late/as a thousand knives go by." So, yeah.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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gosh. i know what you mean about dying for a while. i did as well and then i realized i was really building up feelings and expression that needed to be let out....or i'd explode, i suppose lol. anyways. this is really interesting, the way you wrote it. often times i have such a difficulty with this style in keeping it from getting cheesy, and i think you really hit the nail on the head. repetition in poetry can get odd, but you used it so well. im impressed, i have to say. nice work!
<3shelby. -
"but we always see the clouds,
in a thousand drops of rain."
"We try so hard,
to share our souls to time,
but we close our eyes too soon,
in a thousand years of change. "
I love how you chose to word these!
Also: strange sort of inspiration..
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I liked the repetition! Strong emotion. As a thousand knives go by is a very interesting and evocative image. Strong work!
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Good
Well done, I like it !
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We try so hard,
to make it last all night,
But we always fall too fast,
in a thousand sins of "right".
We try so hard,
to make us see the day,
but we always see the clouds,
in a thousand drops of rain.
solid write.
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We try so hard,
to share our souls to time,
but we close our eyes too soon,
in a thousand years of change.
This is so good. You have talent my friend -
I love the poem the flow and the imagery, I love how it feels as if your almost there and just miss out. I love the feeling through out the whole poem
Later
Romeo
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Very interesting! I love it when things like that happen to me, and I get inspired - by mishearing or mis-seeing something! It's amazing isn't it? Love the inspiration here
"But we always turn too late,
as a thousand knives go by." I love this line especially, and obviously it is the inspiration for the write, but the power of it is SO strong! I know the feeling of turning to late, missing my turn, only to end up in a bad situation or place... If only we would listen to ourselves... ! Haha
"We try so hard,
to share our souls to time," - And this never seems to work does it? Don't we know that so called "time" is just a figment of our imagination -it's made up! It's totally man made! So to share our souls to time, is basically impossible. Well that's how I see it anyhow - it's never worked for me either.
Very strong, and deep write! I like this a lot, and I do hope to read more of your work in the future!
Amber
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