so what's it feel like to be a ghost?
she whispered methodically.
her anxious desire
turned into fear.
only ripe as the flesh
of the apple you bit,
and time was running out.
years ago you might have been here.
Author notes
one day i'm going to sit down and write a long piece.
but right now minimalism is all the rage.
bleh.
july 16th.
taking back sunday has its influences.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i was not too fond of this for whatever reason:
her anxious desire
turned into fear.
otherwise, very well done.
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Well anything with apple imagery will draw me. That is obvious from my allpoetry name. Let's see, I didn't much care for the comma. The rest of your punctuation is fine. It restricts there and you don't need it. I love how the poem begins though. Strong.
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haha
i like the comma there,
it's like my pause.
although i guess it doesn't really emphasise that.
thank you!
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We all have our ways, which makes the world a unique place.
You are welcome. I'll try to read more of your work when I am able. For sure.
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i'm already on looking at yours!
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Thank you!
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ooopz!
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only ripe as the flesh
of the apple you bit.
those lines were lovely....i am obsessed with taking back sunday but hate louder now. just fyi
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haha i agree.
tell all your friends is my fav album
thank you
<3
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