nothing but a bar code,
standing in line,
waiting at the end,
morally blind,
tied down to a feeling
my ability to see,
no more requirements,
insanity's recruiting me...
[chorus]
refusing immunity,
mental conformity,
rural disease,
people to appease,
last man standing,
check my surroundings,
more of the same...
waiting for a chance,
too change my habitat,
strengthening my stance,
against myself,
a lot to take in,
deafening sight,
borderline sin,
unable to fight,
[chorus]
the light it dazzles,
hiding in the open,
for all eyes to see,
intrusive body scan,
daily confessions,
of a turncoat killer,
they know damn well,
they cause real life thrillers,
[chorus]
bland and confused,
prototypes...
Author notes
lyrics... just about how everyone is gravitating towards full conformation.
A contest entry
- What do you think? {options} by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
300 points, ended July 23, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FORM POETRY..(BIG POINTS) by vici377.
3250 points, ended July 28, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TELL ME ABOUT IT..... by xwarriorXprincessx.
550 points, ended August 4, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Your Best! by xCandieKissesx.
450 points, ended August 6, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ayyy write me something..Anything you want by tearfulgirl420.
300 points, ended August 22, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do ya think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Cool!
I like how the format is lyrics to a song.
Confessions about a killer is really unique!
I'd say that the chorus is very well personified!
Thanks and good luck!
-
i liked;
daily confessions,
of a turncoat killer,
they know damn well,
they cause real life thrillers,
and the chorus.
great job
-
good flow and imagery..the blend of darkness is great thanx for entering my contest..please don't click on the stars to keep this contest anonymous..blessings..namaste..
-
wonderful
i love the delicate criticism in this piece. it's not just like "haha fuck u" it is discrete and subtle. i like that.
very nicely done! -
please put the form of the poem in your authors notes..and a brief description of it..thanx
-
Great I liked it alot. Its a song I would so listen to. Very well written with some emotions. thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
:]
..<3..
Shelly
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