Obnoxious Symphony
It pushes
The dancing vibrations it pulses-
A monotonous monotone of drumming
From the shadows of a cornered forgotten;
Inspiring a sort of obnoxious symphony
That delves and scrapes at my cerebral medium
Pulling at the seams of a languid flourished world
Of truly fantastical invincibilities
In an easy black and white figment.
Stitches rip, enchantments fade,
Agony hooks onto me as I check into a rouse
Accompanied by a bushel of rota that pollutes it
And the endless dragging of a constant
Drip
Drip
Drop.
A contest entry
- Commitment - Sweat Shop Series: Quickies – lets Begin - 1 by CarolDesjarlais.
525 points, ended July 21, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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"Stitches rip, enchantments fade,
Agony hooks onto me as I check into a rouse."
I liked these lines the most, they are so filled with emotion. The whole poem i absolutly wonderfull!
A really good write! -
um....YES!
Stitches rip, enchantments fade,
Agony hooks onto me
da na na na na..
I'm lovin' it!
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Great way to grate that danged drip drip drip......There is a mall problem tho... "a cornered forgotten"....what does that really mean.... somehow it stopped me dead in my tracks towards that leaking faucet.
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Oh yes ma'am it is a leaking faucet in the corner of my bathroom. I never remember to call he plumber like I'm supposed to until it remind me at night lol. I hate it!
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Liked it
Fast moving and passionate
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the ending really complements the fast pace beginning and body. it really is an "ending"... I can feel like theres this urgency and building pain with every line until finally its just gone, back to the "pulse" of the very first line
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I LOVE this. I have some mental problems that push me into a sort of insanity involving weird dreams/visions of a drop of sand falling like water and ya...lol don't ask. Anyways I relate this this, and I love the piece. Very well written.
Tal
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well done
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I love the vivid pictures painted by your words,
and the shape seems to fit...
"the endless dragging of a constant
Drip
Drip
Drop."
A Symphony of Sound Resounds, Poet!
~ Nicky♥
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