Holes

His feet found the earth

pockmarked

with invisible holes,

falling so often,

losing control of walker.

They were craters

from battles relived,

his crippled shrapnel shorn

body knew.

Desperately trying

to march again

in the shadows

of his dead comrades.

Author notes

40 words
prompt:
"He would remember everytime he fell to the ground and listened to the wind and imagined it to carry the voices of soldiers"

Triage by Scott Anderson

A contest entry

Points are Going up by Never.Give.Up. 1450 points, ended August 6, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Comments

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Never.Give.Up
August 6, 2008
Edit | Reply

A wonderful interpretation of the prompt, I loved reading it.

Just pointing out the line;

losing control of walker.

"walker" doesn't seems to flow along with the piece. Other then that It was a wonderful write.

I wish you all the best in the contest.

Rose
chiefmac
July 20, 2008

Edit | Reply

Perfect Compliment
The prompt and the penned work here follow each other so well. The second stanza is so strong as the third stanza is the perfect end-march again in the shadows of dead comrades. This slips smoothly through the readers mind with vivid images of one hobbling through life as memories embrace his tear soaked soul.
StarEyes
July 20, 2008

Edit | Reply

WOW! My Brother, this one is fantastic! Seems like a lot of us are doing pieces for lost soldiers, and ones that have passed on. What a great job you did on this one! Love your take on the prompt!

Best of luck in this contest!

and love

Nyetta
Patpowers
July 20, 2008

Edit | Reply

WOW!
I applaud you for writing this work. Your words are a true testimony to those serving our country in the field of battle. THANKS for sharing this one!