thinking you were asleep
brush cut bent out of shape
on feather pillow
beard bristling at dark night
rough enough to rub me raw
should I press cheek to cheek
there was possibility I would
in spite of evidence I had
chest matted with heat of night
rather than flash of crash and burn
after rubbing skin to skin
I could crawl upon its velvet
belly and brown enough to barely
curl around my fingers
were I to place a blessing there
but I will not wake you
my need to braid myself with you
is stymied by short hair facts
I have been your Delilah
In a list
A contest entry
- tonight i draw your hair by Nicolette.
2200 points, ended August 6, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Well done!
Yeah, what the host said...
Really great pace, and the story, the shift of that third stanza, the almostness of it all, then that perfect ending. What a good read. {five of them, in fact
}
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Only you could take the time-old metaphor of Sampson and Delilah and make it your own, make it new and so very poetic and meaningful, Carol. I simply loved these lines “were I to place a blessing there” and of course this one “is stymied by short hair facts”….wow! You are such a natural poet and I don’t think you can write a bad poem even if you try. This is great poetry – deep and with a lasting effect.
Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you, Nicollette, for the HM and the place to put the sorting of my life.
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Wow! Carol, I don't read enough of your poems. But you never fail to capture the small nuances as well as full-blown momentous impact of imagery and meaning in your writing.
The secrets here are intriguing and dangerous in the wiles of womanhood. Even a hint of remorse shows itself, perhaps. Delilah...
Gorgeous work! ~Karen
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Yes, it is easier to see my self as Delilah than to say I had no fault. *sigh*
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"but I will not wake you
my need to braid myself with you
is stymied by short hair facts
I have been your Delilah"
You ____, you
Lets not split hairs... Beautiful!
~ Nicky♥
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I lubs yah, Nicky. You always say such nice things to me...on tough days, your comments mean much.
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Sooooo beautifully sensual! Makes me wish and dream..... But then; I always relish your wonderful work, my friend. Just Wow!
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ty Mad Moon. I try to satay present with feeligns... and one of the ways I do that is to immediately come to the comptuer, bring up a word document and begin. Soemtimes it comes right away and I psot it, and sometimes I stick it in my "To do" folder and go back to it when it is redy.
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wow. This makes me wanna crawl back into bed, and braid, ahem...
Just stunning work, hon.
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There is a standing joke, and in-joke, between those who know me and me. I have this fantsy...I wanna braid Willie Nelson's hair" Now wht is surprising about this is that I do not typicaly liek Country and western music....but I am ecceltic as far as it goes with Willie....lol
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