Her mother tells her the pain is just a temporary thing;
to submit is her fate
and that the things she wonders about from the Internet
are just dreams from another world;
someone else's life-
not her reality.
The man she is about to meet is to be her husband
and she hasn't even been kissed yet.
At girl's school, quiet whispers of outside world customs
where a woman child of fourteen
has choices she can make
torment her dreams.
But hers is a traditional family
and she will bow to the will
of a hundred generations before her.
But she swears a secret vow
that her daughter
will have choices.
Author notes
image prompt:http://alizarinjen.deviantart.com/art/fritter-90308886
A contest entry
- Individualized Pictures #3 reMIXED by notorious.
2788 points, ended August 1, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like that you made this into a period piece
. She does look rather despondent, and submissive and broken. You really gave this a dated & authentic feel to it
But she swears a solemn sacred secret vow">>mm, too much alliteration me thinks lol
a nice piece
thanks for entering and gluck!
-sailor ptolema
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'Internet' should be capitalized.
I think EVERY instance you ended a line with a period...the next lines following should be in a new stanza.
"to submit is her fate"
Something gets me about that line...it's powerful & simple.
"are just dreams,
not her reality."
Ehh, not the most unique line. You could remix it up
Good luck & thanks for entering -
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Edited per your suggestions....let me know what you think.
Russell -
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Better now
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An excellent hard hitting poem, your words bring the message home well. I don't think the picture adds anything to the poem, your words would stand by themselves.
All the best in the contest
Sue
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LMAO porn? We're teenagers, not sick-minded adults
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