I can tell you want peace
because that's where you are now.
Your hunched shoulders, long socks,
your old and wrinkled brow.
Although I barely knew you
I'd known you all along.
I hardly spoke a word to you;
you teach me right from wrong.
Lines draw paths upon your face,
your spotted, sun-scarred skin.
All the things that make you you,
were kept tucked right within.
Your story that you didn't share
or keep or love or mend
has not hindered my love for you,
my uncle, angel, friend.
Author notes
Prompt: Peace.
--------------------------------
Baby sister please 
A contest entry
- My Greatest Loss by guardian angel.
450 points, ended July 25, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I need an Ap family! by XxPan3xX.
300 points, ended September 7, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enough of the Deadly Sins Already. by Violet Moodswing.
900 points, ended April 26, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Big, Bold, and Brilliant! [{Round One}] [{Pre-writes!}] by AbidoodleCullen.
400 points, ended July 30, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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How people do touch our lives and envelope us. We often ponder the hidden stories the do not telll. It sounds as if you had a worthy subject indeed. Excellen job here.
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What a lovely poem, thank you for sharing it and reminding us that there is beauty even in the aging of others.
Good luck in the contest. -
you teach me right from wrong.
Teach should be taught to match the tense you use in the previous lines. -
This is absolutely beautiful. You had an excellent rhythm in most parts, just a few were off but that is ok. It was great and a wonderful choice with your words. Thank you very much for submitting this in my contest and I wish you good luck. There is another young girl who wants to be my baby sister so we shall find out
Damien -
What a beautiful and heartfelt write. You express yourself with a sense of emotion, love, peace and light. There are great descriptions here that work well to create the atmosphere. Well done, this is wonderful. Thanks for entering the contest
peace xx -
Thanks for entering my contest sorry it took so long to comment. I have been dealing with a lot. Your poem brings a little peace to me.Your right that you guide poeple even times that you are not aware. A simple hello could change the way a person's day was headed. Always remember that you touch everyone you come in contact with every single day. Thanks, Melody
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So full of depth and pure emotion from the heart.
So much imagery bursts from within
and so full of life, memories & meaning.
Loved these lines especially
"Lines draw paths upon your face,
your spotted, sun-scarred skin.
All the things that make you you,
were kept tucked right within."
Thanks for entering & best of luck
-
Wow, what a lovely, heart-felt poem.
Your style of writing is really eloquent, and the entire poem flows smoothly and sweetly.
A very poignant, interesting poem.
Thanks for your entry, and best of luck!
- Katelyn
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That was beautiful!!!
Best of Luck.
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this is beautifully written. i give you major kudos. you did an amazing job.
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Good One
I like - very very good poetry - I like the rhyme and flow - the story wonderful - Bless God - Joe -------------------------------------------------- hagd
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Lovely, tender write. thank you for entering
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