Tears fall in secret as I think of you.
I lust after the lips that I once kissed
while I watch them talk.
And My heart aches at the thought
that I once had you in my arms,
and now there's just a disappearing
shadow of an old memory.
I'm trying to say goodbye,
but it only came out in
a whisper.
My heart
won't let you listen,
because it won't let my love for you
die.
I could wish. I could only try.
When you look at me with
those kind brown eyes
you only see me as a friend,
but when you look through mine
I see you and me on those sunny days.
We were laughing at the stupidest
things, just being foolish and young.
I was so happy that I had to
remember to breathe,
and my smile couldn't
fade.
The flowers were beautiful and the
sky was blue nothing could
ever go wrong.
No. Not while I was with you.
I'm trying to say goodbye,
but it only came out in
a whisper.
My heart
won't let you listen,
because it won't let my love for you
die.
I could wish. I could only try.
At night when
I watch the stars shine
I think of your face, and I wonder
if you think of me
as you're tangled in some
other girls arms.
If you remember me
while you kiss another's lips.
I'm afraid that you've forgotten
what we were.
What we had.
I can only watch and pretend
that I'm just a friend.
While my heart is slipping away.
I could wish.
I could only try and say that
I love you like the night loves the stars.
I can whisper goodbye, but I can't say that
I don't love you anymore...
Author notes
hopes of sorrow
-any position is fine with me 
A contest entry
- Music To My Ears by Brandan Shamaya.
600 points, ended July 22, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just about anything by my1lovewearsdiapers.
600 points, ended July 22, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help fill my AP family by desiredpain.
380 points, ended August 21, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I'm trying to say goodbye,
but it only came out in
a whisper.
ahhhh i can relate to this whole thing
& it was amazing that you could put all this emotion out there.
good job & good luck.
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Thank you very much.
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This immediately captures a sense of loss and longing and I really liked the way you describe the feelings of the poetic voice towards its subject. I can so relate to 'I'm trying to say goodbye/but it only came out in/a whisper' think we've all been there. Structurally it seems to wander a little and lose its way but overall I really liked the searing honesty behind this, it's intense. This almost reads like lyrics and I could half imagine hearing it in my head, which is always a good thing. 'I love you like the night loves the stars' is probably my favourite line of all. You may want to think about reworking some of the images and make them more original and personal but overall this is quite a powerful write and I'd really like to see where you go with it. Thanks for sharing and good luck in your contest.
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Loss and longing are exactly what I'm feeling a d that was what I was trying to get across, and I was trying to make it into lyrics .... I guess it worked out.
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"I was so happy that I had to
remember to breathe," this is my favorite line because I remember feeling this way in love. This was so sad. Goodbye can be so hard. You did a great job describing the pain.
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Amazing
I'm trying to say goodbye,
but it only came out in
a whisper.
My heart
won't let you listen,
because it won't let my love for you
die.
I could wish. I could only try.
I love how you repeat this throughout the poem. It gives it brings the message across more. Such deep emotion from someone so young. I can totally relate to them as well. Great write. Keep up the fantastic work.
~mandie~
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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