Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Still...

I remember you
because I cannot forget you,
and I still love you
because I promised that I
would love you always,
and everyone tells me time
will heal my heart whole,
but, time doesn’t really care
if we are in pain or happy,
it slips through us like water
and never looks back.

I will write about you
when I miss you the most,
bring out the photographs
when I cannot sleep at night,
pour you a drink every now and then
because I truly believe

you would have done the same

if it had been you left behind

in a world without me.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 98 of 98

  • Emmyb gold member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply


  • Papabear 4 Rosered
    June 21

    Edit | Reply

    {crying}

    This is beautiful. i really connect with the pain in your words. If it ever really gets easier with time i sure wouldn't know because i still cary all of my pain and i can't get rid of it. i hope you can in time.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    AP has added a new link under "My Account" it said I might enjoy this, it didn't need a lot of calculation to work that out, I adored it when you wrote it and it ain't one whit worse now, perfection, pity that I'm sure it won't let me give you more bunnies

  • kdom
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Every line is powerful and creates a tugging in my heart. Wonderful!


  • fanaa
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    right now... at this moment.. hour..secound of my cursed life..... u took the very heart out of me agn... and agn and agn.... whr whn i close my eyes... he still haunts me...

    and I still love you
    because I promised that I
    would love you always,


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I can relate..

    I felt your pain while I was reading this. I've been through something similar so I can definately relate to this piece! Congrats on the gold and winning the spotlight! Well deserved!!

  • Teardropz-x
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    no bother : comment on mine please : x

  • Teardropz-x
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i felt your pain so much that poem is truly a masterpiece in my eyes , i congratulate you adn thanks for writing it amazing


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      it amazes me still how much this little poem brought out so many many kind thoughts and words from readers. Thank YOU for reading and sharing your comment. Love, Lane


  • nevadapoet
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    I felt your pain...I have been in this place before...It's a sad, lonley, empty place. But time does heal...unfortunately, it never goes away.

    Great write.
    Nevadapoet

  • francaisestmieux
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice

    At first I thought that the griever might have been the butt-end of a break-up, but knowing that their significant other died makes it much more sad. You had my heart calling out to the speaker. I like the way you describe time, and I like the end a lot. Keep it up!


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you very much. I hope you continue coming by. Love, Lane


  • Gold Hat
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I came across this because it was spotlighted. Scrolling down, I see you have three pages of comments. I can see why - you are very talented indeed.

    • Dalaney gold member
      August 3, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      ...i don't know about talented, but i do thank you for taking the time to read and to leave behind such kind words. Love, Lane


  • trekkergirl
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hummm.... I like this. However, I don't like being the one left behind. Good write tho


  • zochit2me gold member
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply


    Oh Lane...

    I will write about you
    when I miss you the most,
    bring out the photographs
    when I cannot sleep at night,
    pour you a drink every now and then
    because I truly believe
    you would have done the same
    if it had been you left behind
    in a world without me.

    How sad and truly heart wrenching!



    ☼Becky☼


  • Beating gold member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "bring out the photographs
    when I cannot sleep at night,
    pour you a drink every now and then"
    Those lines really stood out to me! I think most people relate to this piece - you've turned the cliché into original. One can always wonder how you do it...


  • xSarahx
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Teary eyed!

    This poem... wow. It's so touching, and it awoke my senses. Although it's really short, I really enjoyed it. The flow, the use of the lines, dragging on the words to carry the feeling on as we read it.
    I agree with babyqueen58; my favourite lines were also "but, time doesn't really care/ if we are in pain or happy,/ it slips through us like water/ and never looks back."
    Beautiful! Congrats!


  • babyqueen58
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Simply beautiful

    This poem touched me more than anything I have ever read. It reminds me of the way I think about my mother. I lost her when I was only two weeks old. Even tho I never really knew her, I can still feel her around me. My favorite part of the poem is, "but, time doesn't really care, if we are in pain or happy, it slips through us like water and never looks back." Very deep. Congrats on your win!!!


  • babygirl2582 silver member
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    .....I forgot


  • babygirl2582 silver member
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Sad But Beautiful

    WoW...Tears formed. I hate to cry but I loved this. Congrats on your win!!


  • Hope Angel silver member
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful. I can see why it won gold, and was spotlighted. Congrats. this was truely a joy to read.


  • ronnica
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    My best read for today so gentle, smooth and heartfelt


  • Liliana 3
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!!! very very emotional it reminds me of me and my boyfriend how were always on and off and how I miss and need him, It's absolutely touching and creative good job I definately applaud you!

  • Was
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow......

    i really love it, it's beautiful! yet simple and straight to the point.


  • CanadianGirl1
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow... you made me cry, this is just so touching, and so beautiful... truly a fantastic write!


  • Ithica silver member
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OMG!!! I have no words...


  • HonorablyFallen silver member
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    This made me cry

    These are things that go through my mind some times late a night when my husband leaves at 3am for work and i lie there awake and aching thinking what it would be like without him... I know in my heart that if something happened to him I would die of a broken heart.

    wonderful truthful write i made my heart ache
    -Sarahlynn


  • Ravenashaunti
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    very nice


  • Shya
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So beautiful, and flowed so well... so many touching phrases here, especially the last part. Congratulations on getting on the front page, and on getting your gold trophy. You deserve both. This poem, so filled with love and emotion, touched my heart.


  • nevadapoet
    July 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Like It

    Nicely written piece...a beautiful picture made with perfectly arranged words.

    Nevadapoet


  • knots untangled
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is so touchingly sad yet true and I can relate painfully well with the words that you wrote, I lost my father to Cancer when I was four years old and it is sad how at times we have to look back at photographs in order to remember
    -Meg


  • xXxIceQueenxXx
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such a beautiful poem! My mother passed away when I was 9, 10 years ago this December, and this poem reminds me so much about my family and how it affected them. I think the lines that have affected me the most are :

    "everyone tells me time
    will heal my heart whole,
    but, time doesn’t really care
    if we are in pain or happy"

    This poem certainly deserved the gold trophy to which it was rewarded! Thanks for sharing!


  • zochit2me gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply



    Such beautiful sentiments from one of AP's beauties

    ☼Becky☼


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the power of your words..the confidence that your love gives you. Even though people are not in our lives anymore, the feelings remain. They are with us forever.
    This was such a beautiful piece..and so deserving of the Gold..maybe 2 Golds..lol
    Love
    Nor


  • earthstar
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for writing this my husband died this year. it brought tears to my eyes. I am missing him and taken out our photographs. my heart misses him very much. thanks for writing this it touched my heart.

    • Dalaney gold member
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't know when I wrote this that I would touch and be touched by so many people. Thank you for writing. Love, Lane


  • waydownuponjoy
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    So touching ...

    and "still" a love poem that says so much about the loss of a lover of which this is no compare. You certainly deserved this gold trophy! joy


  • StarEyes
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!!!! This says everything I feel since I was the one left behind. I know there are others that feel the same way, just like me, not been able to find the words to say it, let alone this elegantly! What a beautiful job you did on this!

    Thank you for writing my thoughts and feelings out!

    Congrats on the well deserved Gold!!!!

    I would like to share this with another here, that recently lost her husband, if you would not mind.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Whooooooooo
    Hoooooooooo GOLD!!!!
    and 50 some responces. awesome.
    Joe


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! Touching! I could feel it! Pam


  • arnica karuna
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lovely poem. Extremely touching, the imagery is excellent... and everything is very well expressed. Thanks for sharing, keep writing.
    My favorite part:
    "I will write about you
    when I miss you the most,
    bring out the photographs
    when I cannot sleep at night,
    pour you a drink every now and then
    because I truly believe

    you would have done the same

    if it had been you left behind

    in a world without me."


  • Fourthaxis
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "when I miss you the most,
    bring out the photographs"
    "pour you a drink every now and then"
    "you would have done the same
    if it had been you left behind
    in a world without me."
    What beautiful words! Yes, I'm sure he would have done the same! Don't we all?....
    Your write hit me very hard, maybe because I could relate so well to it. This was so true! You have a gift with words which so few of us receive. Keep up the good work!
    Anansey


  • A63-Angel
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    been here

    wow! moved to tears by this beautiful piece. gold was well deserved here. i lost my first husband to suicide and still blame myself some 13 years later. you have my deepest sympathy for your loss if this is true. bless you!


  • marlene47 silver member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I know this feeling.
    I like the "time doesn't really care/ if we are in pain or happy,/ it slips through us like water/ and never looks back." Reading that just hurts. Still - perfect soft title with deep roots. That ending and the certainty of the other had things been reversed "left behind in a world without me" carries in it both a sharp and dull, heavy sadness. I enjoyed this beautiful read. I'll assume this is a true event and express my sorrow for your loss.

    Congratulations on the gold.
    Marlene

  • Rowan gold member
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I can see why this won. So beautifully sad. *sighs*

  • Eusebius
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    So unutterably sad and so ineffably lovely! An absolutely wonderful poem, indeed! I loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo..

  • karaharapriya silver member
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Poignant and eloquent. It has this moving imagery of film. A very emotion-filled poe

  • carole21
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    a very sweet love write for the prompt . . liked "it slips through us like water" and "you would have done the same if it had been your left behind" . . congrats on the trophy


  • HisDirtyLiLPoet
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What's one to say -- empathetically, as a fellow poet, I find this piece spoken of the heart and written of the soul.

    You may be left in a world w/o this person, but look around, virtually you have the world @ your fingertips --

    Congrats on the gold - I'll be by to read up on some more of your work. Have a beautiful day, poetess.

    She-ra


  • rbruce gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    All I can say is that this a well crafted poem, although sad. It tells a truly beautiful story of true love.


  • Soft-Rain
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Dalaney

    This was so sadly beautiful well deseved sweety!
    I was stuck on each line read it three times.
    You made me feel this verse.

    Hugss
    ~Lisa~


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Gold, k-c.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Humm...mapping the missings souls..ah...well done..and my thanks for sharing such a wonderful write in my contest...

  • Topnotchsy
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful piece, I can see why it is so popular. Best of the luck in the contest, this one will be hard to beat.


  • TyrannyForestFairy
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is deep in meaning and it really speaks to me through the words and contept. Wonderful composition, honestly stunning!! Good luck in the contest

    ~Emily~ xx


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Like this a lot

    Had to come back and re-read it as so often happens with your poetry.
    This is wonderful.


  • solitarytear
    July 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    damn

    wonderful poem......one worthy of tears


  • Endeavor gold member
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent


    I truly believe
    you would have done the same
    if it had been you left behind
    in a world without me.

    The opening words
    make the ending words
    so very powerful

    I feel them all from my past
    and it becomes personel to me

    I wish you well

    Rick


  • Cannonsfire
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mothers are so special to daughters as daughters are special to Mother's...I think yours would have been so amazed at how hers can pour her heart out and let the world see how much she loves. Love, C

  • ladyfalcon43
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow that is wonderful. it makes me think of a lot of things in my life...


  • IronMaiden1236
    July 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Moving

    Stop trying to make me cry!! Thank you


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I know this feeling... *sigh*


    Loved this Lane, all the best.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.

  • Suzanne Dia
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Time... slips by
    leaves love in the sieve
    even when we want to dump it
    we observe the crystals
    left behind by history
    and pour a full cup of memory

    I like mine strong and dark..and just sweet enough

    as he was.




  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a sad, yet very relatable piece for any reader who has been left behind. It is hard to get past any pain and see a future. Your words leave me completely breathless.

  • ramana moorthy
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very true. Time never heals.It either covers or uncovers, deceives or undeceives.
    Congrats. Thoughts expressed with finesse.

  • A Prophet of 3 gold member
    July 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    S-1 is well wriiten, but quickly turned colors like dipping a red brush in yellow hoping to achieve the some color ...

    S-2 is fantastic, but at that point in the work i would hope you would really punch the reader in the jaw ... other than saying ... "i will ..." which is extremely cliche in this type of write ...

    over all a pretty good work, but it makes me think you only licked the dew from one of an infinte amount of grass-blades that were screaming with your true emotions


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. that is so sad... brought tears to my eyes! I have felt that ache before...



  • Cup-a-Joe
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sigh

  • tara wilson gold member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ..sigh...

    no words for this...thank you for writing & sharing your beautiful poetry.


  • PageTurner
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and beautiful
    You have touched my Soul...

    "but, time doesn’t really care
    if we are in pain or happy,
    it slips through us like water
    and never looks back."


    I can but only Sighhh, my Friend.

    ~ Nicky♥


  • tomisb
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Time don't do shit unless we choose to use it. Immortality is a creation of the living. We all have our rituals. Magic is what we create when we realize how much we can change the world with nothing at all.
    Love, Tom B.


  • PerVirtuous
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Everything that happens fills the cup that is our life. Nothing can ever be taken out of that cup... some things just stop filling it. All that filled it is still there and can never be removed. Changing dreams in mid-stream is one of the most difficult things imaginable...


  • JohnnyD gold member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I too used to believe time would heal such wounds, but
    to scar over such unseeing, indeed unfelt wounds, is absurdly impossible.

    Experiencing this trauma with one woman was so painful as to melt my heart and have it flush out my soul. The second such experience was beyond pain....I was on autonomic for decades....so yes, I understand in somewhat similar fashion what you speak of here...like one's heart being shredded by claws of angst and despair-then douse with salt water.

    The pain is such that one cannot breath, cannot think, move or comprehend. Time itself ceases to exist save for that pain. One begs not to think or to remember but to no avail as the scars all weep to this day, into the night.

    Ghost of the past haunt us all and I fear I have too many to fully contend with, for to attempt such is as futile as trying to still all the reeds in a marsh during a hurricane......impossible.

    hang in there..


  • sailor ptolema
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I cannot relate to this personally; too young I suppose; but I can still appreciate the heartache, and the truth that fills this poem. As always Lane; I love your work.

    ~Meg


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    memories indelibly ingrained in the soul are never forgotten or reduced to trivia. A very beautiful, though sad write. Very well done Lane,

    Rory


  • Swangrnv gold member
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    very sweet words for honoring a loved one who's moved on.


    • Dalaney gold member
      July 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for reading my poem. Love, Lane


  • Tigger Lady
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This poem puts beauty, pain, love, loss, remorse, and even a little bit of joy all together in one simple yet perfect piece of work that allows the reader to relate to your experience and to ones of their own. Its very well written.


  • crazymomma
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem made me cry thinking of my widowed mom. Time really doesn't care if we are happy or sad. It just keeps going even after our love has gone. This is so sad yet beautiful at the same time. Your word choice was amazing in describing the emotion and made this very powerful. A wonderful and amazing sad poem!


  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    My Lady

    I will take this with me. Only with your permission print it, and keep it posted near by. Then as I work on my computer, you will always be with me.

    Love,
    Your king


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Good luck in the contest.


  • BehindTheShadow
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this just ran right to the core of me, I deal with feelings like this every so often and it amazes me how sometimes your work feels like it was written just for me, maybe it is just the universal feeling of loss and sorrow. Wonderful poem!


  • nordicsky silver member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    “but, time doesn’t really care
    if we are in pain or happy,
    it slips through us like water
    and never looks back.”

    I think these lines are both profound and true. What right have we to expect time to heal the wounds that life has inflicted on us? Without the sadness, the good memories would quickly fade and that would never do.

    Thanks for posting this,
    Love, Peter


  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I came back for the fourth time this morning.
    Sigh.

  • MatthewBroderick
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    If this is truly your life or if it is just brilliant poetry it is the most beautifully sad thing I have read in a very long time. I read it and as soon as I had I read it aloud to my wife. It is simply beautiful.
    I hope I never find out if I would feel that way.


  • The Unknown Poet1
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    *sigh* I know this far too well


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, sad, soft, wistful...I could quote a dictionary but I'll just...sigh...

    Love
    Sue


  • moonbumps silver member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You never fail to amaze me Lane...this was tops.
    xxx Hilly

  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    For the second time in two days I am writing this in a comment, two of the saddest and most brilliantly life-affirming poems ever written.


    Perfection.

  • Mairi bheag gold member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do not think I have ever read anything quite this tender by you - and heaven knows you can write love poetry! "time doesn't really care... it slips though us like water..." a brilliant image. Very, very touching.

  • silverfish
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the poem fills the room with the sound of the writer's beating heart. -silver

  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aw, this one plucked my heart strings hard Lane, a beautifully reflective and pensive write. *sigh*

    All the best with the contest.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • Sesheta
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My heart aches at such soft beauty! Your words are truly magical, from the first two lines, my favorite, and the last part of the first stanza, pure wisdom, and the poignancy of the last lines...I cannot describe the reaction deeper than that, so I shall merely say, your poem has reached me and I am glad to have read it.


  • Cannonsfire
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So soft and sad these words, I would hope no one would leave you pretty lady, they'd be mad if they did

1 - 98 of 98