out in the marsh reeds
a heron opens
its wings
white -
unhurried,
in true water lily style:
the gestures of your hands
I’ll wear in my hair
today
In a list
- Beautiful Words by Beautiful People I Know • next in list
- a vase of flowers • next in list
- Truly Amazing Poetry by My AP Favorites • next in list
- in the key of water • next in list
A contest entry
- Challenge #2: a poem in 30 words by Virgoan.
600 points, ended July 31, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From July 2008 by amaranthine lover.
2800 points, ended November 18, 2008, 37 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze I by Salty Hibiscus.
525 points, ended April 11, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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Herons are majestic and sharp eyed birds. I love to watch them and see their behaviors. I could see it in my mind's eye as I read.
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if you could see this poem then i'm happy
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I can imagine hands in the shape of herons cascade. A lovely feel for the natural ability of such a gangly apprearance that may have seemed awkward. You make the heron seem so graceful as it is from the sky to the water.
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thank you so much
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Short though very lovely and highly descriptive poem... in short: highly poetical! bravo... braov...
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beautiful!
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this is beautiful. good job ^^
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a very tangential comment: it's interesting to think when most people give a hand gesture associated with a bird IE "the bird" its effect is not quite as pleasent as gesture of the poem's bird
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Nic . . . there are moments when I read your words that I feel myself being transported to a time in ancient Asia when the poets of the Tang Dynasty sat beneath trees and composed freely in the company of songbirds. You seem to have that Asian feel, your images floating like October leaves in a crystal clear stream . . .
your admirer in the North Country, Marc
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Another beautiful write. I love how you took the image and really developed it before using it as a wonderful metaphor. Congrats on the trophy for this one.
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I really like how you put me in awe in this piece. Sublime and revealing. The moment in this imagery - I kept in my heart.
We have more than seven thousand islands here and I haven't seen a heron. We have a lot and I need to travel a few hours to see some of them. The help of the television makes me in splendor whenever I see them.
The last stanza, using hair makes me want to give more than 3 claps.
Excellent nic
Thanks for sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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Beautifully written, with that exquisite soft impression that has a firm foundation. I adore your poetry.
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ribbons and origami
I used to watch the great blue herons at a lake near the college I attended. So deliberate they were. The same intensity of becoming part of the beauty is in the hands in this poem, which also hold kisses in their palms....or is that psalms?
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bone and feathered fingers
flowering soft light
a closed palm slowly opens
too full of wings to fight
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Yippeeeee, you are the last comment! lol. It has been a mammoth mission! My brain is going to explode from the talent I have read. Never again shall I do exams!
Anyway, ONWARDS!
Of course this is stunning. My favourite part is:
"unhurried,
in true water lily style"
Primarily because it is in relation to hands, and they should be unhurried
They'll look beautiful in your hair
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"the gestures of your hands
I’ll wear in my hair
today"
And the golden glittering of his sunlight, you'll wear in your eyes...the wild waves of his voice, you'll wear in your heart. Gorgeous, my Sister. Just lovely. Vlindertjie
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a very beautiful poem.
you have such a unique,
clear and beautiful voice.
such a brilliant write!
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I enjoy the precision in this piece, the elegance of the imagery, and the supremely soft romanticism in the close, it lingers, swirling gently about and elicits a calm smile. Geo
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Lovely...I really like the last two stanzas...but the poem is amazing as a whole. beautiful
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"in true water lily style" - that is so very elegant... just like your poem. I enjoyed this. Especially how creatively and gently you speak of a lover's hands... the way he strokes your hair. This is so beautiful.
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This is beautiful Nic. All your pieces are. Such lovely images.
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Your last stanza is enough to stop time.
Your stuff is always so refined. Nicolette I want you to know that I truly love your work. Sometimes when I read you, I am reminded of fields of wheat. Other times, strawberry seeds. But mostly, and this is always, I am reminded of life. What it is like to breathe and breathe deep. Thank you for this.
;
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blown hair in the wind
resembles hand gestures
and sometimes wings flutter
it;s how the horses
gained their wings
and some of the angels too...
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Sounds like such a gentle and comfortable touch to me.
I wish I could make a heron into such a beautiful personification of love
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"the gestures of your hands
I’ll wear in my hair
today"
this is such a gorgeous poem, Nic, I love it..
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A beautiful, quiet poem. Your imagery is so intense and so unique to your style. Your command of the language is unequalled. Excellent.
Garrison
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Stunning. Such beautiful images as the poem itself unfolds itself to us; so like the heron's wings.... Speechless.
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I love how this progresses from image to image, the comparison of bird to flower, and the implied movement of hands and hair at the ending is so beautiful.
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What an inspiration for you're latest contest...
stunning hon.
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A poem that touchs the heart with gentle fingers. BRAVO!
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Blimey Nicolette - I was being taken on a journey into a Japenese/Chinese scene - almost haiku-like. Then you hit me with the last stanza - oh my life! How you juxtapose the final lines with the previous verse is excellent!
Works a treat. If you haven't already, read some Medbh McGuckian - you have a similar voice.
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Ah, soft and lovely, like the water lily you portray.
All the best dear,
Love and peace always,
mj
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short and to the point.
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perfect, beautiful poem always a sigh from your pieces - so wonderful, Nic
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Sigh... what a picture, like a slow motion of memories and what a poetical conversation. Beauty captured with your heart and "dangerous" pen. What a poetry...
~Sonja~
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beautiful
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oh wait...i think i forgot to mention i love this poem
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and did i say i love your comment - pure poetry
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don't be surprised if people start telling us to: 'get a room!'
lolol
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everywhere i've lived, there have been herons, liefie.
in rain-swamped fields, in trees on a river, and right outside my front door when i lived on a lake.
but of all the hundreds i've seen and watched, there's only one pale bird i need to be close to...
close enough to write my love with a fingertip at the base of her neck, across her chest and down her arms
close enough to write my name with my tongue on her quivering belly
i have learned to nest in you, and discovered you are where i should've been my whole life
you have me sitting and smiling, dreaming more than a little, and glad you picked me up when i was hitch-hiking out of town
lief vir jou, my mooi soet vrou Nicolette, altyd
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now you have me sitting, smiling and dreaming too, liefie...imagining your hands....sighs.
what a beautiful, poetic comment!
lief vir jou, altyd
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Sigh....leaving quietly now and closing the door!
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