I gave him the note,
that fateful day
thinking that things
would go my way.
To my surprise,
he laughed it up
as he threw my feelings away in the trash.
Not a care in the world had he
about what he had done to me.
Or so I thought...
That very same day
He approaced me silently,
He looked me in the eyes
And said, "I..I'm sorry."
I looked down at the floor
and let out a deep sigh,
as I turned around, head held up high,
with a smile on my face
and a tear in my eye.
Comments
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I liked it
The poem is well written, except I would suggest editing the line "as he threw my feelings away in the trash." to be "as he threw my feelings away." I think you'll find it flows better. Otherwise, a very nice short write!
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thank you so much for your comment =)
the thing about that line is that it's supposed to break from traditional structure (i wrote it that way on purpose). sometimes i strive to be different than the norm when it comes to poetry structure. but thank you for the suggestion! and the applause =)
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