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Bittersweet

Missing image
The silence of my lover speaks,
beware, prepare for sadder weeks.
Sensing retreats, a skillful art,
is there room for me in your heart?

Oh, the passion flowing at first,
filling my reservoir of thirst.
I thought you were my counterpart,
is there room for me in your heart?

For awhile I was your Princess,
with a beauty glowing, ageless.
I could feel something kept apart,
is there room for me in your heart?

Something you kept behind your gate,
private, secluded the estate.
Admitting no one from the start,
is there room for me in your heart?

So I knocked upon that gateway,
asked for you to come out and play.
You gathered your toys to depart,
is there room for me in your heart?

The flimsy frame for my desire,
fades without love I so require.
Bittersweet knowing I'm so smart,
is there room for me in your heart?

Author notes

Kyrielle, my first attempt.

A Kyrielle is a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains (a stanza consisting of 4 lines), and each quatrain contains a repeating line or phrase as a refrain. Each line within the poem consists of only eight syllables. There is no limit to the amount of stanzas a Kyrielle may have, but three is considered the accepted minimum. Some popular rhyming schemes for a Kyrielle are: aabB, ccbB, ddbB, with B being the repeated line, or abaB, cbcB, dbdB.

Picture credit, My shot of Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    August 12, 2008

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    You picked a wonderful line to use as your refrain. Kyrielles can be tender and soulful with the proper use of the repeating line. Each stanza reveals a little more of the relationship puzzle and ends in the plaintive question. I look forward to reading more of your poems as you have a graceful way of writing. Peace, Liz


    • Skybow silver member
      August 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      You are very kind CitrineSunrise, I very much appreciate your comment on my poem. I'm so new I squeak but my heart still wants to sing.


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    August 7, 2008

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    I am just learning to write different forms of poetry and have not attempted this one...I think you did a wonderful job of it! It's lovely! ***Pam***

    • Skybow silver member
      August 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      I'm so happy you like it. To date it is one of my favorites too. It is actually easier to write than a Phantom with only the last line repeating. Good luck when you write one, you might just have fun.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 1, 2008

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    The meter changes at times within stanzas and between them detracting from an otherwise beautiful and meaningful poem.
    The syllable count and rhyme match the form perfectly.
    Lovely poetry and a joy to read, we hope to see your entries in th elater rounds
    All the best
    Jeff and Sue


    • Skybow silver member
      August 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Jeff, I'm learning as fast as I can. I appreciate your comment very much.


  • Age of Rain
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is just beautiful. The flow of the words is perfect, they flow right off one's tongue. I also loved the rhymes you chose. 'First, thirst' was my favorite. Very lovely.


    • Skybow silver member
      July 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Wow thanks

      I very much appreciate your comment, thanks for liking this piece.


  • Amera gold member
    July 19, 2008

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    This is a wonderful Kyrielle, the meter and flow is smooth and easy to read and the imagery is delightful. I think the repeating line is well chosen. Bravo!

     

    Love,

    Amera

    • Skybow silver member
      July 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Amera, much thanks again

      You are a wonderful teacher. These challenges are giving me a form for my voice and are fun to do. Who would have thought that? Somehow it just works.

1 - 10 of 10