As he looks around, the static in his head hides his senses from the world
Clouding his thoughts and memories, these late night infomercials, consume from within
A lost soul, he drags his feet around, friends, family fail to acknowledge, fail to love
He is surrounded in a shroud
Everything is blocked
His love is starved
Looking, seeking…
He strives to feel needed,
Though nothing is felt,
He is not wanted
The vices of his flesh become his escape
He finds new meaning in the bottle
Quenching his thoughts
One gulp, one toss
One after another, till he forgets his purpose, his life
Where am I, he says…
Who am I?
Where must I go, no one cares…
Here I am lying in this tub, water filling, soothing
I am floating, submerging…
Liquid within, quenching body and mind
This is the savior I must find
Starting to subside, his uneasiness starts to unwind
Who can save me now, but fate
All is lost now
I cannot wait
Slipping, sliding, water slowly enters his lungs…
One last thought is of peace, his past, his life growing up, his first love, his family…
As he slips into sleep
He remembers his heart sink
The water begins to drain,
One more second could have been his last
As a hand reaches in, snatches him out, a friend from his past
Coughing up water, the man helps him to his feet…
Before he can thank him, before he can come to, before he can close the door…
The man is no more.
Author notes
CONTEST ENTRY
I had never heard this song before, so writing a poem surrounding its subject matter was a challenge...
This poem can be read on many levels, not only the character's fight with depression, but a hint of a savior on the horizon and that in every situation there is always hope that one can look forward to, no matter how hard it is...
it can always get better.
I write based on my own past experiences and steer in the path of experiences of others... so when reading this, place yourself in the shoes of the character and read it as you would have experienced it yourself.
A contest entry
- Blue October - Hate Me by vanessa reen.
450 points, ended July 27, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Wow, this is a very deep entry, quite an experience to read. The story you tell here is amazing, your words are crafted very well. An amazing write, and well deserving of that gold!
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Thank you for your kind words. It's funny when I was writing it, I never had thought I would have actually won the contest; I just wanted to participate in the contest.
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This is such a great write Skilter and this is exactly what I am looking for. You have done so well here and the imagery was so great, I could put myself in that persons shoes and watch it all unfold. Well done and all the best for the contest.
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