Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Playground Pathos

Missing image
We were see-sawing;
you were up and I was down
with a quick pump of legs
we reversed positions;
I was up and you were down

my the clouds were cotton lovely, then

when sunshine was most dominant,
we gave no thought to above or below;
we did not know how high or how low
we could go

weighing caution with crack of a landing
and, perhaps, a fracture that would leave one crippled
for a bit

we squinted eyes and watched
for any sign that anything had changed

how could I guess, you could smile
while flinging yourself free of this

leaving me crouched
and only half in the game?





Author notes

picture option 4, provided by contest holder -

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • A well written trip to youth, an excellent use of the prompt.

    'weighing caution with crack of a landing
    and, perhaps, a fracture that would leave one crippled
    for a bit'

    we certainly take riskier chnces when we are young, nicely portrayed here.

    Thank you for sharing with us

    Jem and Ju


  • Mallig gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful, the ups and downs, shifts of power, such a perfect relationship metaphor! I especially loved the imagery in the last two stanzas, fantastic!

  • Thank you for your entry, good luck!

  • catie052 gold member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    oh, i really like this piece! so true and so beautifully written. I love this so much! good luck

  • Life can be a playground, but not as much fun when you are the only one playing the game. I like this piece alot... Well done & Good Luck! Juls

1 - 5 of 5