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Brief Dance

A brief dance
when day and night meet
dreamers dream
distant lovers meet

Hearts embrace
sunrise meets sunset
Only a short-while
in dreamland's magic
hearts were warmed
reality never touched
Truth of their unparalleled worlds
creates hidden fantasies;

merely in the land of nod
could they fall in love.

Author notes

3. Write fantasy poetry

A contest entry

What you think?

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Butterfly.Wingz
    September 30, 2008

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    oh so beautiful!!!!! i love love...it makes everything feel worth it and like floating lol....this was so well written AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!
    xoxox
    Tasha


  • Nicada silver member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice poem and congratulations on your bronze here. This has a very romantic touch to it. Thanks much for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty


  • Florida Sunshine
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My official review of your poem in the contest. Because this is a 'final' contest, I am feel I should be as strict as I can be in looking over every aspect of the poetry presented. I have never claimed to be an expert in any of the categories, however I have been learning a great deal over the last few months. Not only did I want to challenge you [the poet] but myself as a judge.

    Below I've made the ruling/score in regards to the points. If you disagree with any of my reasoning please 'reply' to the comment made – with “Challenge” and explain where you feel my assessment is wrong, if I agree with your argument I will change the score. I'm never to proud to admit when I'm wrong. If I feel I am still correct I will bring in a 2nd judge to make the final decision to a change. This final judge will be through my grammar group.

    Your Scores:

    Finalist -- 10/10 points - Congratulations on making it to the final round of the option contest. I am happy you decided to join us.

    Use of Prompt - 20/25 Points – Timeless – Love & dreams. Dreams have carried me away, to the point I don't want them to ever end. A couple of them have become memorable, living forever in my mind.

    Poetic Form – 20/20 points – This is regards to the actual structure of the poem. Your poem is structured as a 'Free Verse' write. Although, this form will allow the poet to explore all avenues of writing without the use of rhyme. -- A free verse write will use the stressed words to 'pack' the punch in the poetry. I do feel you've accomplished this.

    Use of Grammar - 5/10 Points – You do have some punctuation within your write. Though it appears to be one sentence since only one period is used. I don't mind the way you broke the stanza in the mid sentence on the 2nd and 3rd stanza. I love it when I see a poet execute this well. In the 2nd stanza you used caps three times, which to me I took it to mean it was the start of the sentence, and not necessarily a poetic impact to the words.

    Spelling - 10/10 points - Perfect

    Overall Presentation 20/25 points – The background and fonts are perfect to accent the poetry. The shimmering elegance are beyond beautiful.

    Your total score is 85

    I do appreciate your participation. It was a welcome pleasure to read and review your work. I think you did a terrific job!

    Best of luck to you,
    Florida Sunshine


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    August 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for an interesting piece.


  • ForeverLoving
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    short but hits hard. nice job

  • mcheadle
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Yes some love last only the length of an eye blink

    For not all love is meant to be. We must grab what we can feast upon. What we have been given as time moves us to another demention. we can say for a moment someone cared and relish that thought.


  • dark-dreams
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    reminds me of being so close yet so far...while the majority of the poem gives off a very sensual fee, the last two lines gives it an almost innocent finish.
    a cosmic read =]

    -g xxoo


  • TyrannyForestFairy
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Just beautiful! Lovely descriptions that were fantasical and dreamy indeed. Good work!!

    ~Emily~ xx


  • TyrannyForestFairy
    July 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Just beautiful! Lovely descriptions that were fantasical and dreamy indeed. Good work!!

    ~Emily~ xx


  • naena
    July 25, 2008

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    I enjoyed the read, it was visual and well written, but it doesn't appear to fit any of the three given topics. It seems to be more about forbidden love or a love that is otherwise prevented from fruition in the real world. Elaina


  • Lady Wildheart
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully written! I think a picture is worth a thousand words n you only needed 50 r less lol. You beautifully wrote a story behind this intruiging photo! Congrats! n GL

  • Mysteriously Sincere
    July 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I like it!

    The flow enchanted me. It's short, but contains a serene peace that I really enjoy. Very nice.


  • Kazytc
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Fabulous Work!

    Wow this is lovely flowing so very well into the mind of the enchanted reader, and well chosen and used graphic descriptives too. Bravo splendid job here no wonder you won a trophy for it! Love it! Well done and congratulations!
    Poetic Hugs,
    Kaz.
    Kazytc xx


  • Angelflower
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    This was so sweet you did a wonderful job.. I really loved this!!! It just flows off the tongue! wonderful!And I can't pick my favorite part either! I love it all!! thats rare bravo!! what a wonderful job.. thank you very much for sharing!


    Angel


  • delightfulmess silver member
    July 20, 2008
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  • delightfulmess silver member
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awe.... this is so sweet!!

    Adore the Line...
    "merely in the land of nod"

    Excellent thank you for entering my contest.



    Delila


  • xXDarkChildXx
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aw, this was true beauty to follow such a lovely picture. :3 Thank you for writing something that was just amazing and way more than amazing, no words could explain it from my mouth! Keep on writing my friend.

    xXDCXx

  • celadia
    July 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This went well with the photo.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow!

    I really like this! it's very creative and filled with imagery, nice flow also, one of my top favorites from you!

1 - 19 of 19