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Thoughts of Freedom

Missing image
hawk head was my jeweled intentions,
flying into the sun like Osiris,
all the colorized failure
it no longer wore the wings seen,
wax melting, falling like
synthesized willow leaves
feathers involving me in somber

defying my reflection
through placid lakes,
clubbed feet trudging
miles

just to see beauty again,
pertaining to us
behind the coded danger,
red and blazing in her eyes;
eyes of a hawk
protecting her own,
reprimanding love

seems time is always behind,
with me one step more
everlasting, outlasting
forever with you



Author notes

Blended: 2 Options: + Osiris!

colorized failure
defying my reflection
jeweled intentions


[1]clubbed, somber, coded, danger
[2]everlasting, hawk, head, behind
[3]pertain, willow, synthesized, reprimand

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • You & Dan can put your trophies side-by-side, kudos

  • "2 Options + Osiris!"
    I dunno why, but that part of your AN cracked me up.

    "hawk head was my jeweled intentions,"
    This is cool, but I don't think 'was' is the right word. Maybe something that pertains to hawks/birds more...like 'flew my jeweled intentions' or something to that effect. Just an idea.

    "it no longer wore the wings seen,
    wax melting, falling like
    synthesized willow leaves
    feathers involving me in somber"
    I just really like these lines..."synthesized willow leaves" sounds GORGEOUS. "it no longer wore the wings seen," has this really deep feel.

    "through placid lakes,
    clubbed feet trudging
    miles"
    Really nice.

    "behind the coded danger,
    red and blazing in her eyes;
    eyes of a hawk
    protecting her own,
    reprimanding love"
    "coded danger"<--The Matrix comes to mind...I guess it's just the word 'coded'.

    Oh yeah, I like that hawks are actually a focal point in your poem, & not just a brief mention!

    "seems time is always behind,"
    Isn't that the truth...sometimes.

    Thanks for entering (: (:


  • parenchma
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    This tastes like the last one I read. You are saying the same thing...

    Regret, longing, the other woman with the high ground

  • mysticstorm gold member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful as always...your combination of options is excellent and I love the ending the most...deep and heart felt from a word bank...truly amazing...
    Best to you!
    mystic

    . Rewarded 4

  • this is wonderful
    a lovely write for the options and without, good luck in the contest and take care sis!
    *hugs* stephanie ♥


  • Weltt gold member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    Oh man why did you have to show me this. Now I don't want to post mine. So well done here Chez! sigh....


    • Cannonsfire silver member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      Awww Yours will be so much better I know it will hun and you post it or else I will come over there and tickle you!!!
  • Fantastic blending of those options hun!
    Loved that last stanza especially!


    • Cannonsfire silver member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      Oh you are quick SIL, I was still fiddling lol just to make sure I had all I needed Love, C
1 - 9 of 9