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Festooned






spout drips tinned meals,
rusted inside,
clear rain falls
from graphic clouds

they scrawled your name
and I knew the sky was numb





A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments


  • sheltered
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is very outside the box
    just the way I like it.
    Graphic clouds is my fave too
    and the ending rocks.


  • phantasyintrigue-x silver member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you entered this contest as well How awesome.

    Although...I'd like to know who this is directed towards...you know who mine is to!!

    "spout drips tinned meals"
    HAHA! Makes me think of water & food stamps, & that's hilarious as hell.

    "rusted inside"
    Okay, kind of melancholy now.

    "graphic clouds"
    I LOVE THAT

    "and I knew the sky was numb"
    GORGEOUS...and oddly unsettling. What's wrong with you?
    AHAHAH

    You're talented man

    (:


  • Rose of Ireland gold member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    I admire this chilling piece, and can feel those graphic clouds biting through your heart. Great work - best of luck in this contest!!! Peace & Love Always