Vines of life, growing fast
Look to the future
Don't focus on the past
Embrace me
Love me
Heal me
You've dwelled here long enough
Tolerating the presence of this ivory tower
I erected in defense
Of things I was scared to lose
I thought the elements would
Wear me out and break me down
But 'twas the walls that ruined me
Oh vines, your roots trapped in concrete
You've bided your time
Conserved your strength
Now is your chance
Destroy my walls
Wreck my defenses
Expose me to the elements
Let the wind blow away my impurities
Fire come and refine my gold
I want to touch the earth
I want to see the warmth of the sun
And feel it's light.
Let my body be washed in water
Instead of the poison running through my veins
Vines of life, I'll grow with you
Looking to the future
Not focusing on the past
Embracing myself
Loving myself
And through exposure
Being fully healed.
Author notes
Yet again, a Creative Writing piece. Our teacher took us to a park down the street from the school. We were told to write something. No rules applied. This was my result.
UPDATE FOR CONTEST:
This is my favorite pre-write because of it's metaphoric quality. I tried something different and new here. The majority of my poems utilize a rhyme pattern/scheme. This does not. It's also a hopeful piece, I've been writing more of those lately, but this was near the beginning of that change. I love the flow of this poem as well.
A contest entry
- Happy Cheery Motivational Poems!! by lightswitches.
410 points, ended July 31, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Searching by crivanea.
300 points, ended August 5, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your favorite Prewrite by SignifyingNothing.
875 points, ended August 9, 2008, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Will finish commenting on the rest of your poems later. This is the last one for tonight.
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If you're going to talk about vines you could probably have some green somewhere in that background, text color, etc... Its not it's. It's means it is. Its is the possessive, that's what you want. This is interesting. Inspiring. Intriguing. It really makes me want to break down some walls too. The fact that you were able to do this for an assignment is very impressive. Whenever I have no choice but to write, it never ends up being up to par in my opinion. But this doesn't seem like an assignment. It seems like an honest, self inspired piece. Well done.
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This was nice. Very heartfelt, obviously. And not hard to relate to. Seems like you had a good freewrite. Thanks for sharing this in my contest.
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hmmm..i had to read this poem twice to fully appreciate it..not bad..i like it..i can see how u r influenced by ur walk in the park..creative..thoughtful..and perpective..sometimes in love we heal from pain..as for this poem i have a feeling that ur talking about a tree..but at the same time u draw urself in w/ nature..nice job and good luck in the contest
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this was good, eventhough some of it was kind of generic and predictable.
You have a great flow though!
thanks for entering -
Cool idea, and well executed. "'twas" felt a little out of place to my--just my opinion. I like the imagery in (27), but it sounds a little awkward to me. Great write though.
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I can hear the musicality of this in my head as I'm reading. Like the simplicity of the imperatives, they're effective in conveying the emotions of the poetic voice towards its subject. Also likes the way it moves from the poetic voice having a sense of control to wanting to be controlled. Definitely an interesting write, thanks for sharing, you have a sharp sense of observation and creativity. Nice write - good luck in your contests.
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