Going back the second time was
Way better than the first.
The first time I tripped;
Stumbling on naivety and stupidity.
Refusing to see the light,
But now I see it clearly
In the sunshine so very bright.
Going back the second time was
Lots easier than the first.
The first time I was running
Screaming, crying and fighting
Trying to get away as quick
As I possibly could.
But this time I can walk away,
Slow at my own pace
Letting go as I see fit.
Going back the second time was
Less painful than the first.
The first time I left
Bleeding and unstable.
Never though I'd be able
To come back here again.
But the knife wound has healed.
My mind is at ease.
And the thought of you
No longer brings me to my knees.
Author notes
This is yet another Creative Writing piece. Another prompt, "Going back the second time was...", given with instructions to respond in any way shape or form. I went with poetry since I enjoy that the most. This is about reliving the memories of my ex-boyfriend. Our relationship had a huge affect on my life, so I write about it a bit.
Comments
-
It's always easier to look back than it is at the time. This is very well written and speaks from the heart. A rather gripping read.
The repetition of "going back" was good. I like the metaphors you use to explain how it was the first time. I personally feel no deepness to this piece. It is brilliantly written, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't leave me amazed.
I don't want that to discourage you. That has mostly nothing to do with your skill or anything. It is simply the subject itself. I'm sure that a different person will love this piece, but I'm not going to tell you how to make it better because that wouldn't be fair to you. I'm biased in this case. It is very well written and just because I didn't find it appealing does not mean you should be discouraged in any way.
Adding your comment:
