Pleading Fervently

Oh Lord, my sovereign deity! How excellent is Your name in all the Earth!
Creator of my being, the Most High Living God, how I worship You!
Jesus, my sweet Saviour and Redeemer, there is none like You in the Universe!
How I live to serve You and only You.

You know my heart, my every thought, my every move before it’s even conceived in my mind. You know me like no one else Jehovah, You love me like no one else. When nobody cared, when no one was there to comfort me, to hold me and love me, You were there in the midst Lord! It was You who cried with me in the late night hours. You who knew every degree of pain and heartache I felt; it was You who continuously wept and interceded for me every night from the day of my birth. You were always there...even when I didn't realize it. Your love covers me like a blanket of pureness, how could I have done this to You? to myself?

Doubt and confusion reign over me, but I still hold fast to Your word. I know that I have too much potential, too much of You in me, too much purpose to risk it all for the sake of sin, of wanting to have sex, of wanting to gratify myself when I know Your word tells me, commands me to "run from all sexual immorality". In all honesty, the fault to blame is partially mine, but more so on Satan, the Father of Lies, Destroyer of Holiness, Peace, and Joy. Killer of all things Godly and pleasing to You Father God. With everything I've done, You still hold fast to me, vowing to never leave me, forsake me, throw me away, or give up on me. But why? Why haven't You given up on me? Why haven't You shunned me and treated me how I treat You? I know why. It's because You’re a God of love, a God of great compassion. You are a God of second, third, fourth, and fifth chances, a God who doesn't want to see His children falling to the same temptations over and over again. You don't will for us to be caught in deathly cycles of lust, greed, and everything we've gotten ourselves into; doing what we know is wrong time and time again with the only expectation of a different result, that's called insanity and You don't will for Your heirs to be insane and bound by the pleasures of this world. For where your heart is, there will your treasures lie also.

Because You are the Righteous King,You will for Your heirs to live a righteous and holy life after You. You want us to abhor what You abhor and love and desire that which You desire. Father God, I pray that You would create in me a clean heart and renew a right and willing Spirit within me. Let me hate what You hate, desire what You desire! Lord, I pray that You would break my heart with the things that breaks Yours oh Father! I know You want the best for me, and Your plea is for me to live a life according to Your Word. Help me to strive to be holy, make me whole Jesus in my emotions, my mindset and mentality, my heart dear God, let my heart be contrite to You! Break me Father, cleanse me of every unrighteous thing!

I know You to be my Saviour, for You continuously save me from myself. I recognize You as a Healer, make me whole once more and again. I know You to be a Father, my Daily Provider. You are my Best Friend, my Sheperd, my Clay Maker, the Lover o my soul. Jesus, You are my Wise Counsler, the Minister of my Soul. You are my Convictor, my Grace Giver, but most importantly Jesus, You are my Creator, the Author and Finisher of my faith. I love You with my whole heart and I long for real and true intimacy with You God. I pray that You'll take me back because I cannot live without You! I need You so much! Let me prove to You that I am worthy of Your love! I love You so much!