Remembering times within 2005,
where you were the force that kept me alive.
Through all of my trials and tribulations.
You watched me go through,
all of my dark damnations.
I know it tears you apart inside,
that the man that you sought was so full of pride.
And yet every time I hear your name,
I'm reminded of the times that I died.
I'm hearing now,
that zou're doing well.
And I still live within,
a self created hell.
If you somehow get this,
I want you to know.
That my times we have spent,
I will never let go.
So you are no longer amused,
and I know that you feel so beaten and used.
I can't even tell you,
the lessons I've learned.
After crosses I've beared,
and bridges I've burned.
All for the good of a greater desire,
and what we had perishes in a deep fire.
Sometimes I sit and think "what have I done",
I know that my demons have come and they've won.
So I hope that you have a prosperous life,
you'll be better without me and free of much strife.
Author notes
Someone called me about 20 minutes ago, who's currently at a program I attended for the last few years. Too many details, case and point he said 2 words that broke me, that I already knew.
"Anna's here." You know, to know, that she was in the same building as him made me feel quite tense inside. To think I know exactly where she's at, and I don't even know why I care, or why it bothers me. The name was said, and memories started flooding back. I don't even know why I'm posting this, but writing helps me to vent. For more information, view my Dear Anna series, parts 1 to 9, and spontaneous combustion to understand why this is so important to me.
I've burned everything, we don't even talk. I've moved on and yet I still always have flashbacks reminding me that I care.
It's fucked up.
Share with me your interpretations.
Comments
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and from the intensity that is in this write..I can tell that there are still unresolved feelings..the good thing is that you wrote it out..that is the first step in dealing with these hidden feelings..this is such a dynamic write..
I'm reminded of the times that I died...for this line..probably taking out the word "that" would be best..for the flow and also..using little unimportant words clutters up the significance of the write..
I've beared,...this word should be bore..that is the past tense..though not sure how that works with the flow..
also 3rd verse L2 typo..zou're ...your're...just a few minor corrections..and this will be awesome..thanx so much for sharing BC...hope all is well..and keep writing to keep the inner demons at bay..blessings..namaste..
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I can understand how you feel actually. I resent someone for hurting me on countless occasions, but I still love him a bit after everything. When I hear news of where he's at or what's going on, it just gets in my mind, and affects me in strange ways. I haven't heard about him in awhile, and all I can say is thank god for small favors.
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Great write! The past haunts us and it can hurt alot, trust me I know. This was a great write and I hope you got out your feeling and are okay.
Zannah
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