and she misses you
tonight
because you're not there
but she can imagine you,
your face
soft features
brown eyes
cute nose
her long eyelashes
float closed as she pictures you
a smile grows on her lips
eyelashes flicker up
vivid, piercing
blue eyes
search for you
expecting to see you
on the horizon
but you're not there.
A contest entry
- && I miss you [more than ever] tonight by Kiss the girl--x.
700 points, ended August 8, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is very beautiful.
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this was lovely.
plus I liked it a lot because that's exactly what my boyfriend & I look like: he has brown eyes, I have blue eyes.
<3
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thanks! you know how some people say brown eyes are boring? my boyfriend's eyes are anthing but boring there is just so much love, emotion eveything in his eyes
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this is really nice.
i can really feel your loneliness but it's so beautiful.
keep up the great work jack. -
Just a little loneliness goes a long way.
I like how you relate the story in ‘third
person’. Like you’re watching it.
Tip “horizon”.
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oh, I have known such ache, loneliness even in the perfecrtion of love, one can never seenm to get enough of another when love is at it's highest peak. and so they sit
and miss and hope,,,great write~~Artis
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wow this is good , love the imagery and style of your writing which you portray through flow and form. its well written . . . .good luck
Sincerely,
♥LostLoverPoet♥ -
this is awesome. ALOT of imagery is created
which is great of course. i lvoe it!
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You spelled "piercing" wrong. Its not quite as piercing when its spelled wrong ; )
Good description.
Anonymousxo -
Lovely. Great imagery. I would suggest that you end it with a period. The viewpoint taken and the soft description was good. Best of luck in the contest!
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