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Piece of Mind

Straight as an arrow is My Vision,

yet My Balance seems blurry.

I strive and fight to do whats right,

but sometimes Hope seems to scurry.



Bury my worries within work,

to take My Mind off the struggle.

It seems like everytime I try to find control,

I just end up getting in trouble!!...



Double the efforts of my neighbors,

I have laid on the table.

Days filled with hard work and labor,

but yet still cant escape My Label.



Stable distractions of My Past,

would put My Future to shame.

Fabled in facts, pushed to relapse,

my growing pleasure for pain...



My Cozy Chaos remains,

within the back of My Mind.

Intertwined like a permanent stain,

I feel it creep down my spine.



Rainy seasons seek out my plain,

as I am trying to find.

Defining reasons why My Soul's caused no constrain,

deranged from crossing that line.



I refuse to be so blind,

and be stuck to the rails of a train.

I call My Insight a Piece of Mind,

as you simply call it insane.



You point your fingers to blame,

anything that isnt refined.

While the rest are stuck in restraints,

so you best believe that I am out to get mine.



So won't you come out from behind,

the bind that bears your Soul.

You'll find that you've been there for sometime,

derived, deprived, so scared and cold.



I shed some light on whats divine,

inscribed, I etch this in the stone.

Your either making better changes in this World,

or your living Life without Hope.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Lost Luggage
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "but yet My Balance seems blurry."

    * the word "but" is superfluous and can be scratched.


    "Burry my worries within work,"

    * you'll want to spell check "burry".


    "So wont you come out from behind,
    the bind that bears your Soul."

    * Normally I wouldn't mention the missing apostrophe in "wont" but since wont means: ACCUSTOMED, USED {got up early as he is wont to do}... I just thought, I'd mention it. Also, in this passage, how does one come from behind a bind?! That's rather cryptic.





  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite good. Burry = bury I'm sure you don't mean prickly my worries in work I'm a little lost as to the periodic capitals, any reason? The content is wicked tho, neat read. Thanks for entering and good luck


  • 2lullabyhaven
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Intense and defying...thanks for your entry and good luck in my contest lol


  • delayedscreening
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    (hand in the air)

    this is a great topic. you show a clear motive and seem to be affirming your belief while explaining the realm in which this belief evolved. i worded this all wrong, i am sorry for that.
    it got me thinking about this contest and your submission as an entry... why did you chose this poem for this contest?


  • Jasmine Rayne
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this entry. It's very moving and holds a lot of truth.

    "You point your fingers to blame,

    anything that isnt refined."

    Absolutely true. If it isn't normal, it's bad it seems... Great job here. Thanks for the entry.







    -Lily♥


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry in the contest. An interesting poem that was an enjoyable read.

    All the best in the judging

    Sue and Jeff


  • Devilish Temptation
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is superbly written my friend unique and powerful emotion thanks for entering and good luck


  • slippingofftheedge
    August 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it reminds me of myself a little. the low inhibitions. high risk taking. no fear of danger

1 - 8 of 8