as i piece-mealed my peace
with pay dirt dogmatic patchwork
at the waist and knees
a fault finding finger found thread loose
and fought its way through
damn near the full length of a left inner seam
so i had to rethink those ethically economic alterations
and proceed with provisional basting to test the fit
and eventually fuse without finish an ideological fix
i could ease as i pleased into our social fabric
until i'd designed the ideal global backstitch
invulnerable to time, weather, wear, and worst
Author notes
the title is perhaps a temp. any suggestions?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I had to chuckle. Clothes sure are not made like they used to be, and I can say the same for the fit. LOL Loved the sense of "do what you must" written here. I miss you and needed to stop by. Glad I did, and glad I read this in-depth work of words. What an intelligent and witty poem!
All My Love ♥
Mom
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thank ya ma
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Wow, this is so good. Hope you post something new soon. You are an excellent writer. - cgirl0410
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thank you
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the title so fits this poem.i love what you're saying and how you've said ti. "i had to rethink those ethically economic alteration" my favorite line. no wait the last three lines of the first satnza. oh shoot i loved the whole thing.
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I read this because of the title you really showed something here.. there is an image that is left in the readers mind after viewing this write.. thank you very much for sharing!
Angel
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I like the two uses of "peace" in the first line.
Lovely analogies and vocabulary.
Great job.
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wonderfully written love the part....so i had to rethink those ethically economic alterations
and proceed with provisional basting to test the fit
and eventually fuse without finish an ideological fix
i could ease as i pleased into our social fabric
until i'd designed the ideal global backstitch
invulnerable to time, weather, wear, and worst ...great work
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ah, ha..love the seamstress/taylor metaphor first of all. would love to hear it performed..it could be very powerful as it's popped off into the mic..lol ..but with all the p's and s's you'd better have a filter.lol
great commentary..these words have bite
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Title=Patchwork? I like that...
Oh jo-el.....that SE Texas Sun is getting to you, huh?
LOL
I missed you, your writing, and just BSing around with you. I'm so glad I read this tonight. It so fits you.
a fault finding finger found thread loose
and fought its way through
damn near the full length of a left inner seam
and can I get an Amen?
Yep.
So, how many beers do you think it'll take me to twist this into a ball of verbal frustration?
Yeah, you're right. Probably around three
Amazing stuff, it makes me want to sit here and delve through everything I missed during my hiatus.
Yep, I was gone. Wasn't planning on coming back neither.
I guess I have this writing thing in my blood now, because I sure was miserable not writing.
Anyway, I'm blabbing, sorry. Holler at me next time, I won't mind. You know I'd drop anything or anybody jes for you, my friend.
Blessings and love always,
Jin
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thank you and i'm glad you didn't leave...until next time God bless
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i like the title as is and this is one of my favorite things i've read of yours... i especially like the line "i could ease as i pleased into our social fabric".
"ethically economic alterations" is a mouthful and slows the flow down a bit, but it makes a point.
the last few words seem a bit off- myself and worst? not sure i get what the worst is supposed to be.
but i really really liked this jo'el
-cassidy
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thanks for takin the time. you're right...its a mouthful. i'm gonna see what alterations to that i can come up with
at the end i start off with natural causes...weather,time, but then i admit that i f things up myself occasionally. and the worst refers to forces beyond myself of malicious nature. i'll brainstorm for perhaps a more effective way to express all that. thanks for your honesty, advice and kindness
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