The sound of the cuckoo
is seldom now heard,
and house sparrows are
a very rare bird.
Where is the chorus
that greeted the dawn?
man shrugs his shoulders
his eyes full of scorn.
I long for the songs
and wind ruffled wings;
but only a dirge
the lonely thrush sings.
The nightingale's gone;
so silent the night.
can anyone put
all man's wrongs to right?
In a list
A contest entry
- What Do You Miss? by Auburn Sunrise.
600 points, ended August 3, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Well this was a depressing poem. On my last trip to Europe, I heard my first cuckoo in the wild. I found it quite stunning to hear a real bird make that sound after years of only hearing it from a clock. I liked the stanza about the thrush singing dirges. This contained a good social message!
~woof
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What Can I say?
There is so much truth to this poem - it is evident here as well - I like your style - the rhyme - the flow and the story - the songbirds are almost extinct - here we blame the crows, the stellar jays and the not indigenouse squirrels (which were planted here)- they clean out the nests and the squirrels do too and they kill the indigenouse squirrels as well - the city has started a crow cull - of course man has added to the problem with pesticides/herbicides and pollution etc. - an excellent piece I must say - Bless God - Joe - (Dobar Dan)
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Wow--"the sound of the cuckoo" definitely caught my eye so I clicked on this & wasn't disappointed...
"seldom now heard"
Interesting...makes one think about the past when it might've been heard.
"and house sparrow's"
Err, you don't need an apostrophe since it's not possessive of anything. (:
"Where is the chorus that greeted the dawn?"
Wow, how evocative & uniquely written.
"and wind ruffled wings"
Perhaps a hyphen (-) in between 'wind' and 'ruffled'.
"silent the night."
Hard feat...
Good luck!!
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Nicely done - and even more because of the childish nature of the last stanza. All in all, very, very good! (But why don't you write?)
- ocerus
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Brilliant in its simplicity, and I loved the bit of rhyme that sandwiches the rest of this masterful grammatical delicacy.
All the best lady Di,
Love and peace always,
mj.
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This reminds of E. A. Poe poetry, the perfection of rhythm, the tune. A kind of poetry for eternity.
~Sonja~
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Interesting. Feels hollow, empty, waiting for something to return.
In the third line, I think you should take the apostrophe out of "sparrow's", because you don't want to show ownership there.
Otherwise, this was expertly written and brought up very interesting images. I wish I could paint or photograph the images it inspired within my mind.
Beautiful. Thanks for entering and good luck! -
Di!!
So good to "see" you again! This is marvelous. Amazing imagery and metaphor, girl! Love the depth of meaning to this, as well. I have always had a soft spot for good poetry that evokes deep thought. The whole penning just sings.... in such softly sad tones. "...wind ruffled wings..." Love it! Ending is perfect, leaving us questioning how we will ever be able to "undo" all we've done; or of it is possible at all. Superb!! Love it, and you my friend! 
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hunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnie sissss i miss your writes you got a good touch at bireds wow sparrows cuckoo , thrush nightingales wow sis simple outstanding i adore this piece.
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OH WHAT SWEET MEMORIES!!!
I have often wondered just where those sweet and beautiful days have gone
I miss them so much! The waking in the morning to the birds singing, deer eating in the yard, looking outside the window and seeing hummingbirds going from one flower to the next. What beatiful, sweet memories readng this brings back to me! 's
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