This is my final wish,
My final desire.
On my death bed,
aged 13.
I hear people around me crying,
My mum and dad silent.
My friends dont even know I'm dying.
This note I wrote before I died,
my final wish.
I wish that the rose my boyfriend gave me,
would be placed so that my fingers give up the last blood I have.
I wish that the necklace my mum gave me placed around my neck.
I wish that this would happen quicker,
I cry, the last tears leaving my eyes.
Kill me now,
that is my last wish.
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
hmm.. i'm not too sure why a 13yr old would be dying.. but it sure is sad to think about it.
chin up, you'll be ok
♥ Uni -
=[
wow this is such an amazing write do you have msn love to get to know you xx
broken harted emo x x
-
Very deep, a Final wish, you put intensity inot it, i enjoyed it at the same time found it sad, good wok though and great emotion
-
Dont you dare
-
this is sad but it's good. although i have one question how come her friends didn't know she was dying?
-
WOW thats really depressing....
-
I've written a poem like this before. Only I end up alive... i didn't know how to end it...
I'll need to post it soon.
This was, indeed, a powerful write.
Keep writing, you're really good at it.
~Annie(drowing in the)Shadows
♥♫♥
-
i love this hanna is so sad and yet so sweet
very easy for me to relate to i think its fantasic
its very moving
i would also spare you if i could
-
Interesting. I don't know what to think of it. Um.. I can see it in my mind. o.o Lol. Nice nice.
-
It's so sad that you right this when your only thirteen. I know the feeling but I would spare you it if I could.
-
this is soooooooooooo sad.. you almost made me cry..
"kill me now
this is my last wish"
i just wonder why a 13 yr old girl would write sth like this
but it's realy good work Hannah
keep up the good work
-
upsetting...powerful
-
i've written lots of suicide notes/last wishes as well.. nicely done Hannah
-
=[
Yet again, very sad. I remember when all of my poetry was like this. I was so very un happy. Even the thought of writing something close to happy, brought a chuckle to my lips.
Though, i find you write this well. It's very deep. -
Very, very sad.
But, death at 13 can't be all that good. Wait awhile, and you'll like life much more in your "older" years (though i choose to be a kid forever like so many people...haha)
In the second line, "I final desire" should maybe be "my final desire" It'd sound better that way.
But this is your poem, keep it how you like!
I think we all have those moments where we just want to die because so many things suck soooo bad. Ugh, I know a lot about that, too. But things do get better.
"Kill me now,
that is my last wish"
~~ great ending.
Quite tragic, really.
Sincerely,
momma' podo 
-
good
It's kind of sad but it's good.
-
OMGOSH
this is really really good, like a will and a death wish all wrapped into one, so sad and yet so comforting....wow
-
Wow... this is FULL of emotion. It got me a bit.
The "I wish"s were truly amazing.
This is a great write. Nice job.
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
