you wrote a poem on the
skin of my breasts
with lips telling
all of the story
and one I could not repeat
in the empty
it was a word
or two
full
it was
what I listened to
when you breathed
in the afflated quiet
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie PIF Contest by Rowan.
950 points, ended July 26, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
-
The first stanza absolutley blew me away, what a beautiful way to protay that moment! I really enjoyed reading this poem and congrats on it's previous win!
-
OMG I loved this. Short sweet and to the point. Brilliance. I'm not very good at poetry myself, but I love to come on this site and see refreshing work like this absolutely spectacular. I have a way of reading good poetry more then I have a way of writing it. Its a gift I guess lol. Keep up the great write and I will keep on checking out your poetry.
........:
at yourself on the back::
-
Who have you been hanging out with
..lol.. Jk.. You did a wonderful job here. I really loved the metaphors you used here and the emotion was.. hmm.. great!!! 
best of luck sissy!!! 
Angel
-
-
lol Actually been around this site checking out some really cool contemporary writers like Apples Fell, ArtfullyMe, Loschlung lol to name a few...needed to see where it could take me and guess what they are such cool people too and very helpful
Thanks Sissy
-
-
-
Wow I have to try and breathe normal now. This one was good
-
I was reluctant to read any poem of yours that used the word 'breasts', but I got bored & decided to read, because you're a good poet like that.
"all of the story
and one I could not repeat"
What was it, George Carlin's 7 naughtiest words you can't say on TV? But that's not a story..never mind.
"in the empty"
I LOVE THAT.
'Afflated' is one helluva word... Had to look it up in my Bible (dictionary.com/)
Good luck!!
-
loving that first stanza!!! Well... loving the whole thing! Gorgeous SIL!!
-
Just absolutley
brilliant, loved it Chez, love the metaphor and the prompt. you have gold here babe.
Dolores. xx
-
I'd love to be writing poetry with my lips on some breasts right now...
Or
At any time really!
Great stuff
Keep 'em coming
Jeff
. Rewarded 4
-
-
Is that when you are not writing them in the bath lol or is it one in the same thing
-
-
Bring me some breasts while I'm in the bath and I'll show you!!!
-
-
LMAO Now, now...down boy!
-
-
-
-
this is interesting...ty for sharing it
-
Very creative! I really enjoyed reading this write =) Good luck in the contest ..
Sammie x -
awww Its beautiful.
-
-
-
Beautifully written.
It is not the length of words or how clever they sound but the life in the words you speak and this speaks of deep things and love and passion. Good, so good.
-
-
Thank you Terry for your very kind words, I think sometimes brevity speaks much more succinctly in poetry, this was one of those moments.
-
-
you got two fivers with a tercet in between ... gotta tell ya i like that ... it has a nice shape and the poem itself speaks silently through touch ... the only kind that counts, afterward (get it ? ... after word ... clever, yes?
... your poem oO! inspires me to try and be more erotic in my poetry than I have been in the past ...
moqui adores=3 turtles
-
-
lol I like those little critters too!
-
-
Are you in love? lol. This is so good. Thanks for entering this!!
-
-
love? lol Why yes I think I am
-
-
I had just viewed this contest so I understand your write completly. The second stanza is so short, yet is filled with the meaning of the whole poem. The first is beautifully naked and raw in the sense of what life is...moments of pure
best wishes in the contest
excellent use of brevity throughout
peace Muddy
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
