How Mary-Jane Vanquished the Devil

It started in front of the congregation,
While listening to service on divination,
The irony was no one came close to predict,
The unfortunate events Mary-Jane would inflict,
A sister of the cloth, there was none more fine,
She was pure of heart and adored the divine,
She coughed during prayer and the priest lifted his head,
Making him fall down the stairs, break his neck… he was dead.

From shock of the moment, three men grabbed at their chest,
And collapsed dead to floor from cardiac arrest,
Screams could be heard, the worshippers started to panic,
Was this God’s work at hand, or something Satanic?
Ten more died in the throng in the ensuing stampede,
As they rushed to the exit – Mary-Jane in the lead,
She knocked down a candle on the way out the door,
Which burnt the church down killing seventy more.

Out to the street the terrified flock then rushed,
Causing a car crash – and 5 more were crushed,
A tanker was involved carrying gasoline,
Which exploded on impact killing another eighteen,
The rest of the petrol leaked into the water supply,
The townsfolk were poisoned, tens of thousands then died,
Governments thought it was a terror attack,
And tripled the forces being sent to Iraq.

War broke out in the Middle-East.
Which exponentially added to the deceased,
Nothing could stop the onslaught of bombs,
And it wasn’t very long before we had Armageddon,
Poor Mary-Jane avoided all of the trouble,
She managed to survive beneath the mountains of rubble,
Then Lucifer appeared and screamed “Nun, are you blind?
With one little cough, you’ve extinguished mankind!”

It was clear the Dark Lord was infuriated,
With the extra work this nun had absently created,
“They didn’t have time to repent their sins,
So I had no choice but to let them in,
But I have a bit more space for one more sole…”
And as the devil lunged for her, he lost control,
He tripped over his cape, arms eagle spread,
And the blade of his scythe sliced off cleanly his head!