Look out she’s on the rag again,
The hellish week will now begin.
I’m wrong no matter what I do,
My quiet moments will be few.
Four days or Five, please not a week,
If its longer my outlooks bleak.
Bloating, headaches, sweating, crying,
To make her happy is not worth trying.
Listening to her gripe and groan.
Holy crap she threw a stone!
All I said “go to bed”,
And now she’s trying to beam my head.
And though people may say I’m wrong,
In an asylum does she belong.
But to survive this I have to try,
Oh please dear Lord don’t let me die.
Author notes
One of the things I am know for is my sense of humor. I can make just about anyone smile. But I have never been able to write humerous poetry. I ahve tried a few times and it has always come out like complete trash. So I sat down on night at work and told myself that I was gonna have a funny poem before the shift was over. After a few hours of writing tinkering and sheepish smiling I came up with this. Ironically the songthat was playing on the radio when I first started writing this was Willie Nelson's On The Road Again. And while some will consider it rather tasteless I hope yall can all enjoy it. It was written July 18th 2008.
In a list
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A contest entry
- Cleverly Terrible Poetry by GlassSlippers.
625 points, ended August 31, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Laugh out Loud by Florida Sunshine.
525 points, ended September 12, 31 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ....prewrites now allowed (I want it all) by IamRemy.
550 points, ended October 2, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let's cheer Justin Up by sidewinder.
1400 points, ends October 18, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Turn My Frown Upside Down!! by If Only What If.
335 points, ended October 7, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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lol, oh thats clever! And very well written. Good luck in your contests and thank you for sharing!
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Thanks Madd glad you liked it and I'm glad you brought a smile to your face.
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hahahaha!!! Thank you so much for the forward! this was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh and smile
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Of course Sara... And dont worry there should be a sequal on pregnant women coming soon
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Lmfao, this is hilariously funny
You're a true comedy writer, maybe I should get you to do one for me about pregnancy 
Keep up the good work!
Only one small problem with this write..
All I said “go to bed”,
Should be...
All I said was “go to bed”,
Speak to you soon Jaq
Stephi-Dawne x -
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Thank you ********* no I'm not crazy enough to use the other name. but I'm flad you found it funny.
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***(/Tosses her own stone) ... LMAO ~ very funny write... I HATE THE FACT I find myself laughing at the woman bashing -- yet, it is just too funny of imagery posed in my mind. *** Not posed... but penned.
Excellent job! I enjoyed this
Best of luck to you
Florida Sunshine
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I am most certainly not woman bashing. Just looking at something that women face and have tried to put at least cause women to smile about it.
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I'm not sure this qualifies as bad poetry. You seem to be connecting with a lot of people. Maybe someone needs to have a PMS poetry contest!
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Oh lord yeah maybe so.
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Funny
A humorous outtake on a very familiar feeling! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Good luck in my contest! ---
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I'm glad it made you laugh.
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The periods, I hate them just as much as you do, I can tell you. Its not funny being a ticking bomb that can blow up for anything.
I wish they made a pill that redused the raising anger during it, but oh well..
Thanks for entering. -
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This may sound kinda selfish but I'm glad I dont have to deal with them like you do.
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Your not selfish at all, sometimes I wish I had a dick so yeh
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Maybe we're bore selfish.
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I agree to that
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Ehh well Its probably all just curiosity.
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Ah, periods... I hate them! Yeah, we do gget violent and crazy. Great write, it did make me smile for a while.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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lol, that's hilarious, it definitely made me laugh ^^ my pleasure to read. lol. and it sounds like my fiance' XD she is the worse PMSer in te whole world. lol.
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I'm glad it made you laugh.
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Hehehe
Very funny and being a female I was not offended at all...very nice flow as well
~♥*Savina*♥~
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Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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You're right, you know
We get more than a little bit crazy at that time. Just be thankful she's not pregnant and emotional! My sister threw a shoe at her husband when she was pregnant with her first child. She more emotional with the second one, now.
Advice: Just give them space.
. Rewarded 6
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Oh I know. You've never had your butt handed to you until you get a 34 weeks old pregnant woman after you. So basically I give pregnant women and PMSing women their space.
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XD
what a sucky little feeling >_<...
anyway...i think i laughed for 5min straight just picturing violence because of a period!
preposterous...
lol
Good Luck
Dani♥ -
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lol Its not that hard for me to picture. i ahve a mom 4 sisters and more female friends and cousins than I dare to count. I dont believe anything is unexpected.
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Well, this is refreshing. It's nice to find a poem that makes me laugh.
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I'm glad it made you laugh.
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Bravo Love it!
This sounds like something every mother can relate to where they are up against a misbehaving and frictious child, sometimes people try the patience of Mother Teresa, this sounds like one such occasion!
Brilliantly penned with humour and poetic graphic artistry and fine sculpting to entertain all the way through, and lovely empathy too, fantastic, great read and well done, love it!
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you. I really was just goin for laughs. I have failed misuably before when attempting humoerous poestry. Its seems I've finally succeeded.
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xD
Nice, funny.
I liked it.
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Thanks Hannah. I dont think I did to bad for it being my first attempt at humor.
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Well I think we wil have to make you a woman for a while .As you probably know, we are slaves to out hormones.Where's that rolling pin.Watch out, I'm coming, Ros
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Oh i could never be a woman lol.
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*giggles*
Jaq you did an amazing job at this... it was really good :/ and i love the title this really did make my day! Thanks hun!!
Rose
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I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and that it brightened your day.
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I have just had the meaning of 'on the rag' explained to me, as being English I wasn't sure and I needed to be, I thought that was what was meant. I have to admit that you men really do have to suffer....poor things
for a little while...but us women go through HELL.
A very funny poem and a pleasure to read, I did think that you could have lengthened it a little.
Well done...Ms Sue
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Oh to take nothing away from going through it i thought i would go with teh comical side of it.
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LMFAO! lol.. this was just too funny.. and very true.. your a weirdo though what guy writes about a girl being on the rag!!! lol.jk.. made me laugh.. good job! thats a hard thing to do..lol. 
thanks for writing something funny you did a good job me thinks
Angel
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. And your just now realizing that I am unusual.
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i like britty's comment
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Because you agree with her lol.
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did i say that? 
were the gremlins taking over my keyboard again?!
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Ok maybe not.
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Lmfao.
You're an idiot.
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Yes but at least I made a decent funny poem.
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