We were meant to be in pairs
to help each other with our cares
Noah had pairs for the ark too
so that one alone would never be blue
Companionships the way to go
and helps our characters to grow
A solitary life
only causes us more worry and strife
I would rather have a love thats true
than be alone and blue
Author notes
Prompt given by host...companionship...anonymous contest so no names in comments please and good luck all
In a list
A contest entry
- COMPANIONSHIP by Swan song.
450 points, ended July 18, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
The solitary life does have something going for it as well but it's wise to become too solitary. Companionship does have its comforts.
I enjoyed your write.
-
Nice couplets and good take on the prompt
-
Wonderful
Very creative and so well express. A fabulous expression for the theme. best of luck in the contest.
-
The general idea isn't bad, but the execution is sorely lacking. Often the number of syllables in each line don't match up, which makes the poem sound terribly awkward when read aloud - for example, line 7 is six syllables while line 8 is ten. Try saying it out loud; doesn't sound right, does it?
The only lines that don't sound awkward are 5 and 6... 1 and 2 match up fairly well but the rhyme on line 2 is extremely forced and sounds a bit silly.
It's not terrible, but it needs work. I suggest fixing the syllables or reworking it as a freeverse poem. -
Ok, wanted too say that:
"Noah had pairs for the ark too
so that one alone would never be blue"
Is one of the coolest lines I've come across like EVER ^^
Nicely penned
Good luck with your entry!
Claire x
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
