Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Someday...

Missing image




...in the transparent white
will be the knight I search for,
where a cold rose won't kiss my lips
and a white steed will carry me away

there will be no lonely road of
make believe, tears of ice
and breath that makes a winter last

castle in the distance will be
the home I search for...

someday



In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Fourthaxis
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh, I almost tasted the ice and I could completely make my breath come in puffs right now and fog up the screen!
    Awesome write! Congrats!
    Peace
    Anansey

  • LadyDementia gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous write, so full of longing and loneliness. A wonderful take on the picture. Thanks for your entry and good luck

  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Such a lovely piece longing! It was written with such a wisful tone that just swept across the page. A beautiful take on the picture!


  • phantasyintrigue-x silver member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    Bloody hell, I didn't know you'd entered this contest!!!!!! Dammit, you & Weltt are tough to beat!! Oh well, I don't mind losing to true talent (:

    The wistful tone in here is done really well.

    "transparent white"
    True, true...if you look at the pic. =D

    "cold rose won't kiss my lips"
    Nice remix on the imagery that's usually done with the overwritten about roses..

    "make believe"
    HYPHEN! Oh, but you Aussies hate 'em. =[

    "will be the home I search for..."
    Oh, could I be a humble servant paid $100, 000 a year? I would do my bidding very well...unless it involved work.

    Good luck


    • Cannonsfire silver member
      July 19

      Edit | Reply
      lol You don't get beat that often, you're a good young poet and we like making you stretch yourself. Without competition what would you do then?? Oh I suppose you'd win Gold and have $100,000 in the bank lol

  • Angelflower Greeters member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    It's just over the hil and through the wodds.. and theres your castle!!! lol.. I really loved this!! it was so cute!! I think that it fit the picture perfectly!!! best of luck sissy!

    Angel

    • Cannonsfire silver member
      July 18
      Edit | Reply
      Where are the woods, I hate woods!!! Where is my wolf to protect me lol oh that's right I beat him to the finish here lol he is still writing

  • Angelflower Greeters member
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    lol..cute
1 - 12 of 12