Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Amiss

"No ghosts here," softly reassured the youth 
Amid an intermittent tide of chirps
And croaking from the creatures of the creek.
Encirclement in arms makes one feel safe,
Though vulnerable both we stood in dark.
We rambled insignificant remarks,
Both hoping that we neither soon need leave.
Then melancholy goodbyes overpow'r'd
The waiting game we chanced to play 'gainst Time.
With one last look, you ate my fresh-blown kiss
While silent I crept on toward sleeping house,
By winking moon betwixt pale backlit clouds. 

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • xCandieKissesx
    August 5

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic!

    Great imagery!

    Though vulnerable both we stood in dark.
    We rambled insignificant remarks,
    Both hoping that we neither soon need leave.
    Then melancholy goodbyes overpow'r'd

    This stanza rocked! Great job!

  • Lowercase Prelude gold member
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    Such fantastic imagery. It brought vivid images to this mind of mine

  • oldpoets
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    You did a whale of a job with your imagery. The imagery is what made this write work. Well done.


  • Sandra R Reynolds silver member
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful writen and good flow.

  • Shayla Walker
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty


  • Room without doors silver member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply

    Pretty

    I loved all the imagery in this poem- there is a feeling of closeness and I liked how you developed the theme. This really is an excellent poem and great to find it in the spotlight.


  • Chaos Star
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely. Gorgeous imagery here, love the use of "overpowr'd," "'gainst."
    A favorite of mine.

1 - 11 of 11