is enough to
take me away
to that place I’ve been
visiting my whole life
Never realised
it was yours too,
though I should have known
because I always found you there
Speak to me
of moments still to come
yet already existing
in this space between us
Talk of days and nights
when I’ll take care of you
and you’ll read to me
until I fall asleep
Murmur your arms around me
and your lips onto mine
Whisper things you’ll do to me
once we’re together
Breathe our dreams into my ear…
take me there
Author notes
Option 1. Love
Image from photobucket:
http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o81/hootal/Iowas%20Prospecting/2008-07-06004.jpg
A contest entry
- Common Cliche by CarissaHailea.
425 points, ended August 2, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Lovely write, Lucy! This is so beautifully expressed, and makes me think of how everything in life, especially relationships, can be a progression...
faith
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Very well written.
Flows nicely.
Excellent job [=
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*CLAP*
I like how easy it is to read this.. it just flows so nice, with just a clear message. i hope that makes sense.
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This poem is so soft and beautiful - feels as if one can wrap these words around you like a warm blanket. I love my guy's voice too and I've written about - often. This is just lovely.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you Nicolette...you'll have to point me towards some of your 'voice' writes.
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Sigh...I call this 'sigh poetry' because after reading it you can close your eyes and see the one you should be with and it always draws the longest sigh. This is lovely work. Love, C
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I'm so glad it can make you feel this way. Thank you for a lovely comment.
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sigh... stunningly beautiful and i'm so happy for you both.. and i know that you'll both find each other in perfect harmony and being as one soon enough
beautiful....
Gilly.xxxx
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Thank you
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I love murmur your arms around me.. not only is it rich with sound in the words, it's rich with sounds in the image.. like the quiet water in the image you used..
All very soft, and quite beautiful
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Thank you for your lovely comment.
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Amazing... such emotion; full of restrained passion and longing... a wonderful write that touches the readers heart and makes them long to travel with you...
Ken
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Thank you, what a lovely comment!
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so romantic... loved the last 6 lines especially.
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A very sweet and romantic write. I really like your line "Breathe our dreams into my ear… take me there" It is so beautiful and it ends the poem perfectly. Best of luck in your contest hun! (hugs)♥
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What a lovely soft, romantic feel to this. So relaxing. Great images and emotion. I especially like your first verse.
Well done!
best wishes in your contest.
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Just beautiful hun! Made me want to find that voice that will take me away!
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The repetition of "place" I'm not sure is as effective as you might have intended, but that's it. I thought the rest was well written. Especially the way the poem broke down towards the end...Usually things like that bother me, but not here. And the "me" and "you" repetition, though it does start to repeat real close, I'm unsure how to change. I think sometimes personal things like that are hard to get around. Thought I'd mention it anyways. I found your images very quaint, not in a bad way. There is love in the tender places we sometimes forget exist.
Glad you guided me here.
There. My approval stamp is given.
;
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LOL, thank you for your stamp!
I didn't even notice my repetition of 'place' or the others...I write things fairly fast and generally don't go back to edit anything either. So it's always great to have new eyes to see what I don't usually bother looking for. Sounds so lazy!
Thank you, as always, for visiting.
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I procrastinate way too much sometimes, so I hear you there... Another pair of eyes is just what the writer needs. Or else, we wouldn't post here on this site. you are welcome. You know I love your stuff. Yep. Yep.
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I used to have a bench in a park.. it was beautiful, even if it was imaginary. He took me there so I could breathe beyond prying eyes and thoughts.
I miss that place more than I actually miss him.
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Love it, this beauty, and I so want to take you there...
I love you
X X X
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You already do
X X X
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