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Ripples



Romantic unions,
immerse themselves completely.

Peeling off the lust,
procured within the mermaids,
levied bountiful blossoms.

Even allowing sheer life,
sectioned between each feather.



Author notes

Tanka & Acrostic(Ripples)

Tanka is a Japanese poetry type of five lines, the first and third composed of five syllables and the rest of seven. Tanka is the oldest type of poetry in Japan.

Prompt:
Photo found at photobucket
30 words

A contest entry

Let me know how I did....

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • e m i l y
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    If the tanka form has five lines I can only wonder why it has seven. (of course I know r i p p l e s) So it's not necessarily a tanka.


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    July 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really beautiful poem. The imagery was awesome. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.


  • PerfectImperfection
    July 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very lovely piece of thought to go along with the image. And in form no less!! Brava!

    "Peeling off the lust,
    procured within the mermaids"

    .. such a clever and quite creative delve into the thoughts beyond the image itself.

    Petals, to ripples, memraids, and feather - a delicate strand woven throughout. Nicely done!


  • notorious gold member
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can't do form poetry, so kudos to you.

    "procured within the mermaids"
    I love that. Although 'within' may not be the right word.

    "levied bountiful blossoms."
    Sounds like petals to me!!!

    "sectioned between each feathers."
    I think you meant 'feather'..since you used the word 'each'. (:

    Best of luck, Shadows


  • delightfulmess silver member
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A form in a quickie!! That is some talent there. This is great.
    Lines 3 and 4 are sensational!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Great job and thank you for entering my contest.



    Delila


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    boo hiss on forms in quickies! hahahah ... noooooooo, jk ... truly delightful images you bring to the table .. dishing out in courses of wonderfulness ... yay for Tanka!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aww this is so pretty! I love that you took this angle!


  • notorious gold member
    July 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I know the feeling of your res. title. Good luck (:

1 - 9 of 9