Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Impossibilities

I have tried to count the trees
In the forest

I have tried to count the blades of grass
In a field

I have tried to count the holes
In celing tiles

I have tried to count the stars
In the sky

I have tried to count the drops of rain
In a thunderhead

I have tried to count the flakes of snow
In a blizzard

I have tried to count the grains of sand
In the desert

I have tried to count the crumbs
In a bakery

I have tried to count the grapes
In a vineyard

I have tried to count the words
In a picture

Author notes

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”
- Jack Kerouac
heres what i decided to use, i hope you like it.
Rob

A contest entry

comments from the peanut galllery

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Never Fall in Love
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I would more just repeat what the person below said. This is more of a list than a poem, really.


  • sailor ptolema
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    mmmm.... I think you are telling to much, and there are too many statements of what you've done. It doesn't allow the reader to take their own interpretation. It's too, blatant, and more like bullet statements. Also; you do, what someone said on one of my poems, "selfish moments" where you talk from your perspective. And it needs to be distanced more so it will create a bigger impact. I'd say, pick a few of these things you've tried and expand upon them, as this will create a more emotional connection with the reader.... did I make sense? lol