I have watched you on many occasions,
secreted away high upon my perch,
when you flew as wily as a raven.
Nevermore did you risk again the hurt
that comes with an unconditional love.
Though you’ve learned that nothing is guaranteed
and conditions exist in hearts thereof.
So it seems you refuse to sow those seeds.
Nevermore will you fall again as prey.
While you bundle up for lonely winters,
black and clever that you are, I do pray,
under your darkened breast, love soon enters.
So I watch on as on those occasions
when you dart about my wily raven.
Author notes
Well now, my deary... This is a sonnet.
Um... I'm a bic pen? I am bic... pent... Um... Pentam... (f it) 10 syllable lines.
It's not Italian b/c I wasn't eating speghetti when I wrote this.
It could be Shakspearean. 14 lines. 12 Alternating rhymes.
Rhyming (end) couplet. (Kinda like an epigram)
Um... I'm not a pundit but I love poems. Formed and unformed. Played around with quite a few forms (as you know, I keep it street baby. I keeps it SKREET!)
Sonnets and Haikus are favorites though enthusiasts of those forms nitpick (f them too.)
First of all, I do hope to see you practice or try a few forms. Why? To gain a greater appreciation for it (not that you don't). It's... It's like Bonsai trees or a hairy woman. I mean, a tree in nature or a natural woman CAN be as beautiful as freestyle. But it takes discipline, determination and a little work to shape a poem like a manicured tree or a well trimmed piece of... Hey, I didn't ask. How are you?
Um... I don't have my "Dictionary of English Usage" so I don't know if I used "thereof" correctly. Verily thou dost not usage thy word when robbing the local bodega. Dost thou thee (and Homer Simpson's) "Doh!"
Finally, always write from the heart and like artists who record previously recorded songs (they shouldn't mimic the other artist)... Make the form yours. Personally, I like to bend over forms and make love to them the way they've never been done before. That's my style baby. I keeps it SKREET!
And for those thugs out there who don't like my recent writes:
Once upon a time, not long ago
lived a tiny pimp by the name of Poe!
He was a wicked little man with a wicked flow
who's style today would be "Emo" "Juggalo!"
A contest entry
- Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ends November 27, 439 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Um... Yeah...
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Hey, Dez, longtimenosee... and it's too bad, too, cause now I see what I've been missing! Hey I really enjoyed the sonnet. Incredible spin-off from Poe. Love the idea and the execution.
Those notes cracked me up!!! Gotta love your skreet style and humor...I know I do! Totally enjoyed you here.
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Nice write...
You shined on this as usual... keep writing the good writes. -
LOL ...
you're such a card. I hope life is being good to you.
Happy Holidays.
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Just read your author;s note ...
gawd i luvs ya!!! "kiss"
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Wow!
So unexpected from you my friend. Awesome job. Even here your unique style intrudes. As you well know I have a soft spot for the dark writes and old world charm. Have I told you you're brilliant lately...?
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Haha on top pf your sonnet your littl ebit in the authors note made me laugh. I love the praise to Poe here, seeing his inspiration in a form he might not commonly use is great. A great and whimsy read while maintaining form which you worked hard on and it paid off. As always Poe is a favorite =) thanks for your entry and good luck =)
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Stunning
Really beautiful imagery! its nice to see that your brave enough to work with such a constricting form yet come out with something very free and peaceful.
- thanks for the poem, i really enjoyed it and thanks for the A/N - they made me laugh! -
Tight Work...
This is really nice... Keep doing your thing
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Umm...Yeah!.... I loved your author's comment as much as the poem. I don't think unconditional love is all it's cracked up to be, sometimes, and sowing seeds on rocky ground makes me want to spread my wings and fly, too.
It is a love poem, your sonnet, and has you own special flair! I always color outside the lines, and lack the discipline for writing them. Very nice!
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I loved the sonnet but the author's note is the real hoot! LOL You go "SKREET" real good Baby! Great job on the sonnet Dez. I ain't no pro on iambic pentameter but I know rhythym when I read it. LOL
UM YEAH...
Always ♥
Renee
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your AN left me ina fit of giggles! great job! this poem was an awesome piece! keep writing!!!
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I'm with jacks had a good chuckle over the AN's lol and beautifully done form too. Love, C
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Sonnets are one of the forms I am most familiar with! I really love your write.. it has an undertone of darkness which I of course adore, but is still beautiful!
Thank you so much for the entry!
Your ANs realy did give me a good giggle too!
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oh l.o.l.
I LOVE THE PIECE FOR REAL, BUT THE AUTHOR NOTES? L.O.L. THAT WAS OFF THE CHA--ZANE!! keep doing you kid, cause ya do it well!
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Well then...
You go on Mr. Man sounding all classic and stuff...no really Dez I'm eating it up...you wield a serious "sword" love.
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some sonnets dont even rhyme or have a meter... most of us find one way easier than another, i avoid sonnets its a-rhythm thing, some days i have and some days i feel like a resource out of place...any way... i think the message here is the most important thing, and it is excellent...PK
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