a Mothers Guilt

A Mothers Guilt

As a mother of five children, I understand a mother’s guilt when a child is born with a defect and all you can think is what did I do wrong?

As a mother I understand a mother’s guilt when you don’t think before speaking and send your child to play and they get hurt.

As a mother I understand a mother’s guilt when you raise your hand to a child meaning to discipline and it really was just out of anger.

I regretfully understand the guilt of the kitchen being so bare you give your child your food and they still say they are hungry but there is nothing you can do.

I understand all of the guilt that comes along with motherhood, The ups and downs of emotions that are so confusing the reacquiring questions in the back of your mind “am I a good mother?” .

I understand the stress of just being stressed!

I also blatantly understand trying to raise a child that is not yours and the guilt that pours over you when they question their biological parent.

I understand the unforgiving guilt of your child being molested and putting the no good for nothing in prison but nothing takes it away the feeling like prison is not good enough.

Out of all and all that I do understand about a mother’s guilt there is one that I don’t understand and I hope that I will never understand.

I do not understand a mother’s guilt of losing her child at a young age a child that lived long enough to have hopes and dreams but not long enough to fulfill them. A child that had so much potential that it was sickening. A child that was smarter than any average college student.

This is a guilt that I feel so sorry for the mothers that have it and I wish there was a way to ease it.

When you have guilt for letting your child go play and they get hurt or you scream at them or even have no food for them there is always a chance to change it but when you loose them there is no changing it and that guilt I can imagine is so heavy on the shoulder and so unforgiving I give my props to every mother that has had to deal with this guilt and still keep there head above water.

To all the mothers out there,

There are people who understand and we are calling out to you,

If you need a shoulder to cry on we are here, to vent to someone we are here, Someone to have coffee with we are here, A babysitter so you have some time to gather your sanity we are here,

Just because we are mothers does not mean that we should stand alone and deal with it. Our children need us they are our future and we need each others caring, understanding, forgiveness and gratitude to make it threw the hard times.

-HEATHER
P.S IT IS NOT DONE YET STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS !