Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Days in the Sun

Missing image
Snapshot memories invade my mind
silent snippets framed in solid gold,
special days etched on every heartbeat
tinted visions hauntingly unfold.

I see the breaking waves crash on to shore
the midday sunshine sparking on the rise,
sizzling the sea to humid mist
equating snuggled teardrops in my eyes.

We camped, we fished, we oozed simplicity
doing things that didn’t cost a dime,
with sincere folk and natural surrounds
we paddled in soft streams of wasted time.

Flickered moments playing like an echo
resound another time, another place,
I’m growing old but still my dreams are fresh
those golden days that time cannot erase.

Author notes

Elfin. 3/9/05


Wordbank -: Snapshot - silent - snippets - sunshine -
sparking - sizzling - snuggled - simplicity -
sincere - soft

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • poetryality silver member
    August 25
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my! Had you not mentioned the use of a "word bank" in your author's notes, I would have never guessed.

    I came to AP a "rhyming poet". What I mean by that is...that's all I ever wrote. I got into free verse and have had a heavy hand in writing more in that form. It is refreshing to read poetry that rhymes and rhymes well, poetry that is as lyrical as this. You make those of us who love to rhyme proud with this writ.

    What a soothing series of events are mentioned in each stanza. This poem makes me seek the water, like now! LOL

    Great work my friend. Thank you for yet another fine entry. I do see improvement in meter, and a wonderful rhythm to the words written here.


    Much Love Always ♥

    Renee

  • iamlost gold member
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    You used the wordbank very well; the words blend with the rest rather than jumping out, which is what is usually desired. They fit well, but also add such power to each line.
    Well penned.

    ~lost


  • Frogzter gold member
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, this was a great read! Excellent use of the word bank. Thanks for sharing and best wishes

    Frogz~

  • Frozentearz gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    very heartfelt and a great usage of the wordbank.
    a delight to have this within the contest.
    Loved your closing lines
    "
    I’m growing old but still my dreams are fresh
    those golden days that time cannot erase."
    Warm thoughts.
    Forzentearz
  • creative and clever, that is what i see here, you did a fantastic job, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
  • Very, Very impressive. And I too remember the golden days that time cannot erase. Thank you for sharing this with me and God bless you and yours congrats in the contest...

  • i love your lines

    I love your lines:


    I see the breaking waves crash on to shore
    the midday sunshine sparking on the rise,
    sizzling the sea to humid mist
    equating snuggled teardrops in my eyes.

    melted my heart,

    best,
    isabella

  • Nite Soul
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very good way to describe life and i loved all things about this. thanks for sharing this with all of us and good luck to you in the contest
  • yes..so truly the life is described in very touching and imaginative words...I love its essence ..well done my friend...

    . Rewarded 4

  • awesome

    i love it


  • west19
    July 17

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    This is a great poem. You do an excellent job of portraying the scene in the memory and presenting the mood the person was in during the memory. You present a nice summer day when the person was relaxed and happy to be where he was, everyones dream of a lakeside getaway out in the woods. "Equating snuggled teardrops in my eyes" A great line that adds to the emotion of the poem and shows how much the person cared about that place.

    . Rewarded 8


  • DomaYuset
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    This poem makes me miss my childhood, thanks for the read.


  • NurseyPoo
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful job of the word bank use. You painted a very serene picture with the words. Pen on...

1 - 13 of 13