Come sing for me, darling
Take me away
Far from the failures
Of yesterday.
And I will explode
Like a loaded gun
Placed to my temple
I become undone.
I pray your forgiveness
In a life so decayed
I’m sorry, my love,
But I must escape
Author notes
Short...
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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dark.
the flow and rhyme are amazing. you've done well with this piece. i like it.
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i liked it. the only thing: i was a little confused about who 'my love' is.. like why you would want him singing for you would make you explode. i know it's not literal but i don't get the metaphorrr. the last two lines are VERY powerful, and the ghythm/rhyming scheme was good
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Its okay that you dont get it. I could have been more detailed and long, but I thought it flowed better as a short to the point poem. Its about a woman who can't go on in a life because of her past failures, the loaded gun is her choice of suicide. He's singing to her to try to ease her suffering, but in the end it wasn't enough.
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Wow, this is very deep and very dark. It may be short but it really says so much. This is a great write.
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There she is...My muse.Love it.Could I sing I should love to see you explode like a loaded gun...but I could help with the escape!Great write Allie!
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