Cross Stitching

clumsy fingers pull thread through,
creating tiny "x"s,
part of something bigger,
in and out,
over and back,
through the eye of the needle,
they tell me this is relaxing,
I can't focus,
my mind keeps wandering,
wandering and wondering
to things that I want to forget,
things I don't want to be true,
I try to focus on the cloth,
on the colors,
in and out,
something isn't right here,
where did I go wrong?
how is this supposed to be relaxing?

Author notes

So this is about cross stitching (which I loathe) but also about other things too. I am cross stitching to earn something for church...it's sort of like an eagle scout for girls, it requires a lot of service and cooking and yes, sewing. Service is fine, but I'm not so good at those domestic things. I try though. And I'm almost finished with the program...so I should get my medallion really soon. Yay! I've been working on it for four years.