Kiss the snake,
and bribe the baker
There are sweets in store for us
When I die,
I am going to meet my maker
Cross the seam in the sky
Stare at it dead center
Its made of mirror
When I see myself I cry
Into the ether of another lie
Black holes and tadpoles,
swimming in my brain
Upstream, upstairs,
in this waking dream
Found a human in my heart
In this realm we are never apart
Found a healer in my wound
In this sonic boom of sound
Screaming through lifetimes
To galaxies outside space,
and time
Stars sending down lines of light
Cautiously I climb
When I fell down I realized,
how madly, badly I wanted to rise
Free the soul so sublime
Sing with the fireflies
With purpose, realign
So join my holy ghosts
The disseminators of the divine
Climb these live ropes
Take their existence as a sign
So rise with me into dissent
Question to stay alive
No amount of submission,
will make you a victim
Truth, the element that allows one to thrive
Keep your gold, your goodies and your guilt
God is not one you want to bribe
But if you've already sold your soul,
I guess its worth a try...
You can kiss the snake,
and bribe the baker
But every lie falls...
.
.
in the future
Author notes
creatress
A contest entry
- Pre-Writes from my Faves!!!! by PerfectImperfection.
675 points, ended August 19, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats going on in your portals girls and boys?
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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i think i'm in love
so incredibly awsome the depth within these lines blew me away wow.. yes wow does come to mind.. powerful and true and opens the eye of the readers mind
thanks for that
~TeddyBare~
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beautiful
i am so pleased i stop by! wonderful write,
thank you for sharing your poem! such a complulation of words brought together making a master piece! Bravo!
Rend
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A rapid fire tornado of sounds, words, and images here, with a twice potent message. The last stanza was unexpected and wonderfully tough. fine, poem... bravo...
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Beautiful work in the imagery and the feelings that hides behind the words your forged together creating a true work of art, I love the flow and how it all streams together.
Great work
Romeo -
your strong use of vocabulary really makes this poem stay lodged in the readers mind. the concept in itself is amazing. i love the last stanza,
You can kiss the snake,
and bribe the baker
But every lie falls...
.
.
in the future
i think it's my favorite one in this poem.
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Your vocabulary bring the poem to life. The mood is mysterious to me but there's some other aspect of it that makes it very attractive to a reader. The structure of the poem is really good. The ending really sums up the idea and the way you wrote the ending is really cool. Nice one.
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I love this backround! I liked what you had going with the lines "kiss the snake and bribe the baker"
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I enjoyed that this poem was a little 'off beat' and unusual - meaning it's not over done stuff and fluff you usually find. Interesting background as well I might add
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I coulda sworn I had read this before... but maybe not. But I love it. The rhyme is well-done and I really like the way it's portrayed here. Fantastic write!
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Thought I had commented on this in the past, but I guess not. Was a great write then, it's a great write now. Love the title and first first (and last) lines the most, but it's a solid piece through and through.
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I like it, the beginning kind of confused me and I almost gave up on it, but read through and found it to be very beautiful. The most important part of a poem I think to fill my head with clear images of wonderful things and make me smile. Thanks, keep it up!
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Such a truly thought provoking piece. There is a beautiful sullen depth to this - the undertone of knowledge; wisdom learned too late or too soon to compare worths. Intriguing imagery and abstract feel here. Nicely done. Thank you for your entry!
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Kiss the snake,
and bribe the baker
There are sweets in store for us
When I die,
I am going to meet my maker
LOVE that.
this poem was really good
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great!
wow
good luck inthe contest!
you should feature this!
great background by the way!
nice job!
Silver
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Nice!
Awesome use of vocabulary. The imagery is just genius. I see from all the comments how different people took your piece to so many different levels. If we write anything that appears to relate to religion, it totally freaks most people out. Not me though, I find your penning to be absolutely divine. And your background is just delish!!!!!!
POETDONTKNOWIT
WRITING IT HER OWN WAY -
I like the meter and the flow of this, it's really actually a very nice read, especially in the way it sorta builds up a momentum. Very well done and good luck in the contest.
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i am not a fan of rhyme., however this piece grabbed me and held me all the way through... great write and i can envision the meeting in my mind you so beautifully wrote about... keep sharing your work...
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i understand..im tired of the lies..i like the use of stars in poems..often use that
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Very interesting opening you have here, the imperative works really well and makes the reader want to continue. Extremely evocative descriptive detail and imagery as well, all contribute to the flow and movement. Reminds me of something biblical and possibly connected with Paradise Lost or maybe something more metaphorical and about ambition... Good luck in yor contest, this is a powerful piece and deserves success.
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Interesting. I am going to be one of these well-intentioned people who won't say what my interpretation is.
I'll question one word choice:
"No amount of submission,
will make you a victim
Truth, the element that allows one to thrive
Keep your gold, your goodies and your guilt"
I don't think "one" sits well where you have consistently used "you" with the same sense. JMO
Thanks for sharing this as a "shameless feature".
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Its so funny that the well intentioned people below wont even say what their interpretation of this is about.
.....so rise with me into descent.....
love that opposite up and down effect.
....found a healer in my wound
....in this sonic boom of sound
this line is beyond expression.
I am going to venture to say that it piece lends to the thought that
its gonna come back to ya,
when ya got nothin ya got nothin to lose,
play your last hand,
but if ya wanted to climb higher
ya should have played it straight....
especially with yourself..
to be true to yourself.
Of course i could be wrong...it's just my perception...
all art has depth and perception.
This is what you do,.
you create stimulating art for the heart and mind.
Exquisite piece of literary magic.
Blessings gypsy,
always,
LOWELL
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That was beautiful
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very good
This piece could be a song, In fact I started to read it to a consistant rythm and can easily imagine a musical accompanyment.
Taking this into account the poem hit me hard, I didn't expect it to. That was the somber delight of the piece, poems should have "juice" and have a catharsis with the reader.
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Very good! This really made me think.
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It is apparent that this is a well thought out piece. You have one typo in the last line of the first stanza ether should be other I believe...Just thought you'd want to know. It powerfully thought provoking and the imagery is astounding. I truly enjoyed reading this piece. Keep penning for you are a true talent.
~mandie~
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I think there is a well thought in this!! ^_^. Really Im speachless....Great Job! =]]]]]
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This is a powerful and thought provoking write you have penned. You have used some great metaphors also. A very creative and spiritual poem. I really enjoyed this so thanks for sharing it. Blessings, Patty
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It's quite astounding
The "baker" reference brought something to mind actually. I don't follow any religion specifically but I'm open to any text, "contrary to most others."
Let's look at the bible for instance. It's a book of metaphor and has been reinterpreted as a cook book. Basically people try to find was to rigidly live by it, plus make up their own interpretations to say it comes from the bible.How to bake your salvation in 10 easy steps. Yes, although some "cooks" improvise, there are a few afraid of trying another ingredient.
I personally steer clear of all of this drama. It's a great poem though, and often times people will sell their soul to get in to heaven. -
Hm...really got me thinking. Nice job! I enjoyed reading it. I would have to say that I like the first stanza the most. Great use of imagery.
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I really enjoyed this.
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well I do not know what you mean by pimping but this is an exceptionally written poem with some thought provoking ideas and I like it.
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my revolutionary friend, this is inspiring, moving and... extremely well written.
thanks for posting the link to this in the group.
keep rockin on and writing such inspirational writes.
♥ Dani
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